I see what’s going on here. You read this, and then you wanted me to come home and find this slutty little lipstick haiku so that you could be the one that ended us.
It’s not a haiku, there’s not enough syllables.
Yeah, that’s good. That’s pretty good, you got the hang of that… mm-hmm.
I think you severely overestimate your ability to break hearts.
No! If there is one thing that you take away from this whole experience… never.
Sorry, I was trying to cool you off.
My dad used to give me those. And now I am just thinking about my dad.
Ew, that’s gross, I’m sorry.
You are an asshole in so many languages!
You know, I used to smoke back in college. But one summer, I walked in on my parents smoking out of a vaporizer and watching Italian porn.
Oh, my God.
Which is kind of the greatest antidrugs PSA of all time.
