John Dory Oh, that's not an option. If we can't hit the perfect family harmony, we aren't perfect. And if we aren't perfect, we're nothing.
Played by Eric Andre 
Trolls Band Together (2023) · 162 quotes
Trolls Band Together (2023) · 162 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Trolls Band Together (2023): in 22 of its 162 quotes
Most scenes with: Poppy (7), Branch (7), Clay (4)
Hey. At least we didn’t fall. [ropes snap, thud] We fell.
More lines from John Dory
10 quotes John Dory John Dory I don't need this. I'm out. I'm done. I'm sorry. I'm going to go hike the Neverglade Trail by myself. Bro-lone. Yeah, that's right. Bro-bro going solo. YOLO. Goodbye forever! [he uses his grappling hook to lower himself out of his family’s pod] [in the distance] Later, losers.
John Dory STOP THE WEDDING!
John Dory You're right. Totally rude of me. Didn't introduce myself. I'm Branch's brother.
John Dory That's not fair, Branch. I did come back but no one was there. And it wasn't until I heard about you saving the world from the Rock Apocalypse that I realized you were even still alive.
John Dory Branch, our brother is being held captive in a diamond prison.
John Dory What? That's even worse than lip-synching. Not my brother. Not today.
John Dory Branch, it's time we find the rest of our brothers and get the band back together.
John Dory Liking that optimism, Poppyseed. Branch, one word. Keeper!
John Dory [repeated line]
Wha—?
Scenes with John Dory
11 scenes John Dory STOP THE WEDDING!
I can't remember all my suitors, Grissy.
Oh my gosh, I was being so rude. I've never met anyone from Branch's family before. I'm Poppy, Branch's girlfriend. Should we hug? Fist bumps? Smile and wave for now and see where the night takes us?
John Dory All of the above.
Wait! I know you. You're the guy... from BroZone. We were just listening to them.
Cooper
Yeah! BroZone!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, don’t tell me. Um, okay, well, you're not the heartthrob.
John Dory Well, that's your opinion-
Fun one? No. You're kind of uptight.
John Dory Uptight?
You’re not the sensitive one either.
John Dory Okay, a lot of assumptions for someone you just met 30 seconds ago.
Oh, oh, I've got it! You're John Dory!
John Dory The leader.
The old one!
Uh, sorry to interrupt but we lose the venue at eleven so---
Shh, I’m trying to listen. Very hot gossip.
So, if you're Branch's bro, then that means all the BroZone bros are Branch's bros too! [gasps and turns] Branch! How come you never told me?!
Because it's complicated.
Oh sweetie [pats Branch on the back] Cuz you weren't in the band.
John Dory [laughs]
Branch was in the band alright.
What?! No way! Which one was he?
John Dory Bitty B.
Bitty B?! No. That’s impossible. Bitty B had glasses.
John Dory Oh, and a diaper.
[sing-song voice]
Annnnnddd a falsetto made of gold. [normal voice] Not that anyone cared. But that’s all in the past. Because they stopped being my brothers the day they walked out on me and never came back!
Branch, what's going on with you?
The question we should be asking is: What's going on with him? I bet you he's only here because he needs something.
That's not true! He's your brother!
John Dory Branch, I'm going to be straight to you: I need something.
And there it is!
John Dory Wait-- Wait. Hold up, Branch. It's about Floyd.
What do you mean?
John Dory He's in danger, man.
John Dory [flashback] [voice over]
I hadn't heard from him since the band broke up. -Until... [a thud] I got a letter from him.
John Dory [reading]
“Dear John Dory, I'm being held against my will by superstars Velvet and Veneer. Come to Mount Rageous at once and bring our brothers. Love, Floyd."
John Dory I didn't know where any of you were, so I went to Mount Rageous alone. I found where this Velvet and Veneer were performing that night. And there was Floyd.
John Dory [falls face down onto the table the diamond bottle Floyd is sitting in and picks himself up]
Yo, Floyd.
John Dory? [he stands up, moving to the front of his prison and putting his hands on the inside of it] I can't believe it. I never thought l'd see any of my brothers again.
John Dory I'm gonna get you out of here, bro.
No, you've gotta get out of here. You don't understand. Velvet and Veneer are giant, pop-obsessed succubi with no talent, and they've been stealing mine. And they'll be back any minute for more.
John Dory What? That's even worse than lip-syncing. Not my brother. Not today. [John turns and walks away then he turns back to Floyd, trying different methods to try and get him out: running straight at the bottle and slamming into it face first, taking out candy like ninja stars and throwing them straight at the diamond bottle and using the spikes of his fingerless glove to draw a circle into the front of the diamond bottle and punching it. Floyd is getting more and more unimpressed and annoyed with each attempt]
John. John. Stop. The bottle is made of diamond. And there's only one thing that's powerful enough to shatter diamond.
John Dory Right. A diamond-shattering diamond hammer. Where can we get one of those?
No, John. It's the perfect family harmony.
John Dory [gasps]
Of course. The perfect family harmony.
Our voices sound like garbage. We are dying out there. What we need is more troll.
Run, John Dory. Save yourself.
John Dory Don't worry, Floyd. I'll be back with the bros. You have my word.
Alright. Alright. Tiny, Branch, Poppy, and this random dude [John Dory: Wha—?] on another musical adventure filled with heart, hilarity and happiness.
Tiny, what are you doing here?
Well, Aunt Poppy, for your information, I am no longer a baby. I am a big boy now and I'm on a man-sized rite of passage to learn lessons of life, courage and maybe love.
Awww.
John Dory Should we be letting a baby drive?
Not to worry, fellow grownup. I have procured my learner's permit. [holds it out]
What? No! Why? Are---are you?
John Dory Enough chitchat, Adulty McManface. Step on it!
Wow. Look at your old outfits. Puffy jackets. Pukka shell necklaces. Denim tuxedos? Branch, did you have frosted tips?
Yeah. It was an era.
John Dory Don't forget his perm.
No way! Pictures or it didn't happen. [John Dory holds out a picture which she grabs] Look at you! You were so cute. I love it.
John Dory But we had to pull the plug when he tried to frost his perm.
It was an era!
John Dory Tragic.
John Dory [pointing at the “hustle” button]
Tiny, you see that button?
Uh, yeah!
John Dory The beautiful, shiny button?!
Oh, you mean the button that's taking every fiber of my being not to press? Yeah, I see it!
John Dory Press it!
Oh, my kids love these guys. We’re a total Veneer household.
John Dory They’re the ones who have Floyd!
Ugh. It's gonna be hard to separate the art from the artist.
John Dory Stop. Stop. Time-out. Let's do it again from the top. Spruce, I want some smolder in those eyes. Clay, you're being too stiff. We need some sillier robot. Bitty B, maybe a smaller diaper.
If this diaper was any smaller, I could taste it.
That's why I don't wear one of those. It's a hard fit to pull off.
Really great note, John Dory. Super helpful. Thanks. Thanks. Now I have a creative note for you. Stop being bossy!
John Dory What? I'm not being bossy. I'm helping us be better.
No. No, dude, you're forcing us to be perfect, just like you always have, so we can hit the perfect family harmony.
John Dory Yeah, for Floyd!
Is it? Or is this all just so you can tell people what to do again?
John Dory Wh-What?
Guys, guys, this really isn't helpful right now. Let's all maybe take five, huh?
This isn't gonna work if you keep on being the same old John Dory.
Yeah. We've all changed. Bruce settled down, Branch is slightly taller with zero glasses and I'm a licensed CPA. Put some respect on my name, fool!
John Dory Well, I'm not allowed to change. I'm the oldest. I had to be the leader.
You love bossing us around. Just admit it.
John Dory Why do you think I moved to the middle of nowhere? So I didn't have to be in charge of anyone. Four little brothers is a lot of responsibility!
Why do you think I left? So no one would treat me like you did.
John Dory You know what, Spruce...
It's Bruce!
Thank you, Clay!
Guys, we can't forget about Floyd.
John Dory Look, Branch is right. We're here for Floyd. Let's just get this done, and we can go our separate ways.
Fine.
Wait. What?
John Dory What? The mission's the mission. You didn't think we'd all live together when this was all over, did you? Singing songs and roasting marshmallows?
Oh. I’m sorry. Is that funny to you? That I might want us to actually be a family again? [takes out his bunker plans and looks down at them] Tiny Diamond, pull over now.
[Rhonda lurched to a stop, and Poppy, John Dory, Clay and Bruce stumble in response]
Don't be a baby, Branch.
You're mad at him but you guys do the exact same thing to me. You all still treat me like the baby of the family. But guess what?! I stopped being a baby the day you guys walked out on me because I had to. Then Grandma got eaten and there was no one else to take care of me. [crumples his bunker plans up and throws them on the floor] This time I'm walking out on you! [Branch turns and storms out of the van without looking back]
[walks over and picks up the paper before straightening it out and looks down at it]
This is Branch’s bunker. He built this for you guys.
John Dory I didn’t know.
I guess you never asked.
Wait. Grandma got eaten?
[After Floyd “dies”, he floats down and is caught by Branch, who is in tears as he sets him down on the floor of the yacht and their other brothers join them, all sad and silent] [sadly]
Floyd.
[Branch and his three older brothers surround the motionless Floyd; John Dory is in the right, Clay is in the middle, while Branch and Bruce are in the left, all of them falling to their knees and with sad looks on their faces]
Come on, man. Wake up. Wake up, Floyd!
John Dory We need you, brother. [Poppy and Viva watch this from here with sad looks on their faces]
Oh no!
[As his three brothers continue to look at Floyd sadly, Branch lets out his conflicted expression to Floyd, with tears still flowing down his face] [hoarsely]
I... I built the hideout, Floyd. Except for the ten story water slide.
[Branch and his three brothers hung their heads as they feel Floyd’s body. Branch felt Floyd at first, but Floyd’s eyes slowly open to Branch and his brothers] [wakes up]
But.... how will we shower?
Floyd?
John Dory Yeah!
Yes!
Floyd! No way! Oh, yeah! [laughs]
[Branch hugs Floyd, before John Dory, Bruce and Clay join in the hug along with Poppy and Viva. Elsewhere, Velvet and Veneer recover after the shockwave from the Perfect Family Harmony]
Listen up, Mount Rageons. We...are...FRAUDS! [the crowd gasps, and Velvet looks at him in shock] And we've been literally torturing little trolls. [the crowd gasps again as Veneer grabs and holds a camera] We just wanted to be famous. Honestly, my sister wanted to be famous and, truly, I was too afraid to stand up to her.
[defiantly]
Yeah, you do. And you asked me to change, anyway, which isn't okay, family or not. [Floyd smiles at him, as he smiles back at him. Crimp suddenly places handcuffs on Velvet's thumbs]
You also engaged in troll-napping, troll torture, fraud... [shrugs, snickering sheepishly]
And tax evasion. [takes out a pen and clipboard] I'm going to have to repossess your yacht.
Fair enough. Prison it is! [Crimp snaps her fingers, then two security guards show up. Veneer smugly smiles and Velvet scowls with rage while the guards escort them both away]
[Mount Rageons start cheering with Velvet and Veneer shown getting escorted away by the security guards on the camera, as Rhonda starts barking at Velvet and Veneer in the process]
So, how you feeling?
Happy, grateful and really sorry it's taken me this long to open up to you.
Whoa, TMI. Boundaries, my man. That is a lot of feelings.
[Poppy and Branch both laugh, then go in for their first kiss. Watching, the Mount Rageons swoon and cheer upon witnessing this on the screen, while Bruce and Clay both sport proud looks on their faces as they do a congratulatory handshake, Floyd sheds a tear of pride whilst John Dory hugs him, and Rhonda howls in happiness] [after the kiss]
Uh... What just happened?
Oh. Viva just braided your hair. [the camera pans out to reveal Branch's hair is braided] It means she likes you.
That means I like you!
What's up? You got the pre-show jitters?
I can't believe that we almost missed out on all this. We may not be the new kids on the block anymore, but I'm loving this new edition of us.
You know, I'm really glad those 98 degrees of separation are behind us.
John Dory Just as long as we're together.
You didn't think that BroZone was the only band I've ever been in, did you? Please.
Now, these guys know how to flex the drip.
John Dory Wow. You guys are so in sync.
Boom
[Everybody laughs along with one of Branch’s other bandmates saying ‘hear what he said’]
I don't get it.
Hey, Branch, it’s almost showtime and I was thinking that maybe we should— [stops and zeroes in on Branch with his other band, all of whom have turned to look at her] WHAAAAAAAA-
