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Nick Naylor quotes

After watching the footage of the Kent State shootings, Bobby Jay, then seventeen, signed up for the National Guard so that he too could shoot college students.

How many alcohol related deaths a year? 100,000? That's, what, 270 a day? Tragedy.

I don't have an M.D. or Law degree. I have a bachelors in kicking ass and taking names.

I front an organization that kills 1,200 people a day.

The message Hollywood needs to send out is that smoking is cool. We can put the sex back into cigarettes.

Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I talk. Everyone has a talent.

The number 1 killer in America is cholesterol, and here comes Senator Finisterre who's clogging the nation's arteries with Vermont cheddar cheese.

These days, when someone smokes in the movies, they're either a psychopath … or a European.

You know that guy that can get any girl? I'm him … on crack.

Everyone's got a mortgage to pay. [inner monologue] The Yuppie Nuremberg defense.

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