50 million dollars?! Are you out of your **** mind?!
Nick Naylor
Aaron Eckhart · 26 quotes
BR
J.K. Simmons · 4 quotes
Joey
Cameron Bright · 4 quotes
Bobby
David Koechner · 3 quotes
Jeff Megall
Rob Lowe · 3 quotes
Polly
Maria Bello · 3 quotes
Senator Ortolan Finisterre
3 quotes
Most scenes together: Nick Naylor & Joey (4), Nick Naylor & Jeff Megall (3), Nick Naylor & Polly (3)
Thank You for Smoking quotes
Page 1 of 3It was some pretty **** up shit.
We don't sell Tic Tacs, for Christ's sake, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and addictive. The job is almost done for us.
Doak "The Captain" Boykin You're family now. Tobacco takes care of its own.
Heather Holloway My other interviews have pinned you as a mass murderer, blood sucker, pimp, profiteer and my personal favorite, yuppie Mephistopheles.
It's like you always said, Dad, "If you want an easy job, go work for the Red Cross."
Senator Ortolan Finistirre
The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese.
Jack Hey, Neil! Neil! I'm going to impale your mom on a spike and feed her dead body to my dog with syphilis!
Neil
Ha, you got me!
Jack [Jack turns back to Joey and Nick, who both look confused.]
It's an inside joke.
Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they're looking to make.
Cigarettes in space?
It's the final frontier, Nick.
But wouldn't they blow up in an all-oxygen environment?
[Long pause]
Probably. But, you know, it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue: "Thank God we created the, you know, whatever device."
What happens when you're wrong?
See, Joey, that's the beauty of argument. When you argue correctly, you're never wrong.
Why did you tell that reporter all your secrets?
You're too young to understand.
Mom says it's because you have dependency issues and it was all just a matter of time before you threw it all away on some tramp.
Well, that's one theory.
You're The Sultan of Spin!
"The Sultan of Spin"?
Mom subscribes to Newsweek.
I speak on behalf of cigarettes.
Child
My mommy says that cigarettes kill.
Now, is your mommy a doctor?
Child
No.
A scientific researcher of some kind?
Child
No.
Now, she doesn't exactly sound like a credible expert now, does she?
Child
[sinks back into her chair]
I speak on behalf of cigarettes.
Child
My mommy says that cigarettes kill.
Now, is your mommy a doctor?
Child
No.
A scientific researcher of some kind?
Child
No.
Now, she doesn't exactly sound like a credible expert now, does she?
Little girl sinks back into her chair
Look at it this way. How many you want to be lawyers? Lawyers earn money to talk.
One little boy raises his hand
OK, let me try this again. How many of you want to be movie stars?
Multiple children
Yes!
Movie stars get paid to talk! That is what I do, I talk.
Jeff, when do you sleep?
Sunday.