You know, this job, though, isn't how shows like CSI make it out to be. When I first joined the force, I was under the impression that everything was covered in a fine layer of semen. And that the police had at their disposal a semen database with every bad guy's semen on it. Not true!

Yup.

If only there was semen on everything, it would make our jobs easier.

Hell yeah!

I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything is covered in semen.

I mean, who doesn't? It's like your wish that you could walk out of a room and just know where the semen was. You just know like Sherlock Holmes, if he was in his day, Sherlock Holomes, in his day... And this is a proven historical fact. Sherlock Holmes, when he was alive, knew where semen was.

Could smell it out like a rat.

Smell it out. Anything.

Like the crime scene today, if the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face, we'd have a real good shot at catching him.

No way.

Just punched you in the face. No semen.

Yeah, no semen. And that's the only way you can find DNA by the way, if it's in the jizz.

Semen. It's the best DNA, is in the jizz.

I'm telling you right now, sometimes I just want to make, you know, live in a world of semen.