I'm not saying the army will do for you what it did for me. All I'm saying is you get out of it exactly what you put into it. Sometimes, the army's your best shot. Now there a couple of questions I have to ask you, they're a little personal; Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That's robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
Convicted? No.
Never convicted.
That's good. Are either of you, uh, homosexual?
You mean like flaming?
Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.
No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.
Yeah ... would they send us someplace special?
I guess that's "no" on both. Now if you could just give Uncle Sam your autograph here.
That's good, now your name.
[Winger hums dramatic music as he passes the pen to Russell who also signs]
