Susan Cooper No, it's not pinkeye, ma'am; it's just I'm having a bit of an allergic reaction.
Played by Melissa McCarthy 
Spy (2015) · 24 quotes
Spy (2015) · 24 quotes
Most-quoted character in Spy (2015): in 16 of its 24 quotes
Most scenes with: Rick Ford (2)
I'm Penny, like the penny.
More lines from Susan Cooper
6 quotes Susan Cooper Susan Cooper I just…I still, y'know, hear my mom's voice: "Well-behaved women often make history."
Susan Cooper Could this hotel be any more murdery?
Susan Cooper Maybe I should be married to one of the dolls just to make it extra sad. "Ten cats"—wh—why do I have "ten cats"? Is that even legal… Just missing a shirt that says I've never felt the touch of a man.
Susan Cooper Once, I asked someone for a Tylenol, and they gave me a Tylenol PM. I'm not sure what their intentions were, but…
Susan Cooper Could this hotel be any more murder-y?
Scenes with Susan Cooper
9 scenes
Bradley Fine I could kiss you!
Susan Cooper Oh. [chuckles] Well, I would accept that with an open mouth.
Bradley Fine Did you wipe your eye after you cleared out the cat box?
Susan Cooper I don't have cats.
Bradley Fine Why did I think that?
Susan Cooper I don't know.
Bradley Fine You should get some. They're—they're good company.
What're you gonna do: bring one of your cats as a sidekick?
Susan Cooper I don't have any cats.
Patrick And, may I say, it is very brave of you to sacrifice your life for your country.
Susan Cooper Oh, I'm not sacrifi—I-I'm coming back.
Patrick Let's see.
You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my ****in' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a **** Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and reattached with this ****in' arm.
Susan Cooper I don't know that that's possible, I mean, medically…
During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of Congress as Barack Obama.
Susan Cooper In blackface? That's not appropriate.
I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while on fire. Not the car, I was on fire.
Susan Cooper Jesus, you're intense.
Susan Cooper It probably happens all the time.
Woman
It's never happened before.
Susan Cooper Oh, my God! Somebody just put something in her drink.
Nancy B. Artingstall What is it? is it poison?
Susan Cooper I don't think it's a fibre supplement.
Susan Cooper I will have the Sapori e Delizie.
Waiter
Right. That is the name of the restaurant.
Susan Cooper You may never be as wise as an owl, but you'll always be a hoot to me.
What a stupid **** **** toast. You're delightful.
