Slither (2006) quotes

View Quote Bill Pardy: Hey, Starla. You remember that time we were kids and you came knocking on my window in the middle of the night? So Starla here, 12. I guess I was 14. I said, "Starla, what the hell are you doing out there?" She says that she's gonna run away to Hollywood and be a big star. And she knew I was in the ROTC, so she says she needs a bodyguard and invites me to come along. And I said, "Starla, if there's anyone who can take care of herself, "I think it's you. I'm gonna have to decline."
Wally Whale: How far did you get?
Starla Grant: About the bus stop. Because Ranger Rick here called my dad.
Wally Whale: Damn. A cop from the get-go. You son of a bitch!
Starla Grant: You **** up our fame and fortune there, Bill Pardy.
Bill Pardy: Yeah. Yeah, I guess maybe I did.

View Quote Bill Pardy: Two nights ago, a mare was stolen from this property owned by Fitzgibbon. That rancher with the cleft palate?
Wally Whale: Yeah. I know that guy. He looks like a chipmunk.
Bill Pardy: Your mama weren't too proud when you came out neither, Wally.

View Quote Brenda Gutierezz: I thought maybe you was dead after the other night.
Grant Grant: I am dead. Don't I look it?

View Quote Brenda: [as the alien slugs tear her apart on the inside] Those little ****ers are tearing me apart!

View Quote Jack McCready: He's a goddamn Martian?
Bill Pardy: Martians is from Mars, Jack.
Jack McCready: Or it's a general term meaning "outer space ****er."
Bill Pardy: No, it isn't.
Jack McCready: Look it up, ****.

View Quote Jack McCready: Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon and worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars. People are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no **** goddamn Mr. Pibb!
Bill Pardy: Jesus Christ, Jack. Let me get right on it.

View Quote Jack McReady: Town Council lit a Roman candle, stuck it up my ass!
Bill Pardy: Jack, your leisure activities ain't my business.

View Quote Jack McReady: Well, it's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease.
Bill Pardy: What?
Jack McReady: Lyme disease. You touch some deer feces and then you eat a sandwich without washing your hands, you got your Lyme disease.
Bill Pardy: And that makes you look like a squid?
Jack McReady: Well, **** you all for laughing.

View Quote Kylie Strutemyer: His real face looks like a needle. But he's always got another. He goes from place to place, worids, planets, killing them. Some he gets pregnant, others he just takes over with his worms. And the rest he eats till they're gone. Now he's here.

View Quote Kylie Strutemyer: What are we gonna do now?
Bill Pardy: Probably turn into a couple of these ****-up things.
Kylie Strutemyer: That's kind of negative.
Bill Pardy: Well, it's been that sort of day.

View Quote Starla Grant: [to a transformed Grant] You're just sick. We're just here to take you to get some help. Right now. And I'm gonna stay by you. Just like I swore I would. For better or worse.
Bill Pardy: Much ****in' worse...

View Quote Starla Grant: Bet you regret not running off with me to Hollywood now, hey, Bill?
Bill Pardy: Oh, hell, Starla, I always regretted that.

View Quote Starla Grant: When Darwin said "fittest," he didn't necessarily mean the strongest, or the most intelligent, or any one trait. He merely meant those organisms most well-suited to their environments. Now, we humans, we think we're more fit, more evolved, because we're smarter. But we're neophytes. We've only been on this Earth two million years, give or take. The cockroach, that fellow's been around 350 million years. So, based on that, which of us is the more successful species?

View Quote Tourneur: He looks likes something that fell off my dick during the war.

View Quote Wally Whale: Surprised you're able to lift a mug, you've been carrying that torch for so long.
Bill Pardy: Oh, that reminds me of something I want to tell you.
Wally Whale: What's that?
Bill Pardy: **** you, fat ass.