Charles Dreyfus If someone has been murdered here, please let it be Clouseau.
2nd most-quoted character in A Shot in the Dark (1964): in 9 of its 18 quotes
Most scenes with: Inspector Jacques Clouseau (3)
Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.
More lines from Charles Dreyfus
1 quote Charles Dreyfus Scenes with Charles Dreyfus
7 scenes Dreyfus [answers phone]
Commissioner Dreyfus... Ah, yes, my darling... I was just about to call you. I'm on my way. I've got the cheese and the beaujolais... What? [laughs] ... My love. Kiss the children for me, hmm?
Dreyfus [intercom buzzes]
Hold on. [covers phone mouthpiece; answers intercom] Yes?
Intercom
Your wife is on the other line.
Dreyfus Tell her I'm out of town.
Françios
I made a terrible mistake.
Dreyfus Who did you assign to the case?
Françios
Clouseau.
Dreyfus Oh, my God.
Dreyfus He was shooting crows?
Françios
He was disguised as hunter to watch over the Ballon house.
Dreyfus Give me ten men like Clouseau, and I could destroy the world. Where is he now?
Françios
I don't know. After I got his release, he received a phone call. He ran from his office yelling he had found the clue that would crack the case.
Dreyfus This case is already so full of cracks one more won't make any difference. [breaks a cigar he was having with his fingers. He takes another and uses the cigar cutter] Françios.
Françios
Yes, commissioner?
Dreyfus I just cut off my thumb.
There is something... personal... in this?
Dreyfus Yes, deeply personal. I hate you! Every little bit of you! Now get out!
You want me to leave?
Dreyfus [chuckles and whimpers]
He released her again, and he's taking her out to dinner to dinner. Every paper in Paris has the story, including the Christian Science Monitor, and he gave them the story! You see, he claims she's protecting her lover, and the best way to force him into the open is to make him jealous. Jealous! That nincompoop! That megalomaniac! He's setting the science of criminal investigation back a thousand years, and I can't do anything about it!
Psychoanalyst Why not?
Dreyfus Why not? What if he's right?
Dreyfus What about the maid?
The maid?
Dreyfus Was he jealous of her too? He strangled her.
It is possible that his intended victim was a man and that he made a mistake.
Dreyfus A mistake?... in a nudist camp?
Nobody's perfect.
Dreyfus Idiot nincompoop lunatic!
Well... that just goes to prove what I have said all along.
Dreyfus What you've said, Clouseau, qualifies you as the greatest prophet since Custer said he was going to surround all those Indians!
