#5 is alive!
#5
Tim Blaney · 15 quotes
Ben Jabituya
Fisher Stevens · 11 quotes
Newton Crosby
Steve Guttenberg · 8 quotes
Stephanie Speck
Ally Sheedy · 5 quotes
Howard
4 quotes
Most scenes together: Newton Crosby & Ben Jabituya (6), Ben Jabituya & Howard (4), Newton Crosby & Howard (4)
Short Circuit quotes
Page 1 of 3
Ben and Newton
[In unison]
It just runs programs!
"Unable. Malfunction".
How can it refuse to turn itself off?
Skroeder Maybe it's pissed off.
It's a machine, Skroeder. It doesn't get pissed off. It doesn't get happy, it doesn't get sad, it doesn't laugh at your jokes.
Ben and Crosby
It just runs programs.
It usually runs programs.
Where are you from, anyway?
Bakersfield, originally.
No, I mean your ancestors.
Oh, them. Pittsburgh.
[after Number 5 refuses to return to base]
Oh, my God. It's not coming back. We've gotta destroy it.
No. Howard, you're overreacting. You can't.
Look, let us at least try to catch it first.
Yeah. We'll panic later. Okay?
What if you don't catch it? What if it goes out and melts down a busload of nuns?! How would you like to write the headline on that one?!
"Nun Soup"?
BEN! [covers Ben's mouth]
Hey! Who told you you could take Number 1?!
Howard, logically, if we need protection from Number 5, this is the best weapon we could have.
Great. Great! So, instead of $11,000,000 on the loose, we're gonna have 22.
And plus, we are needing gas money.
I got a phone call from that loony in the lunch wagon. She wants to see you. Only you.
She does?
Oh, her pants are blazing for you, Newton Crosby!
Will you grow up?!
Beautiful! Lightbulb!
No; sunrise!
Beautiful! No, sunrise!
No: beautiful sunrise!
Beautiful! Sunrise! [turns] Beautiful animal! Mammal! Canine! Dog! Mutt!
Beasley!
Beasley!
We have to get you home.
This, home! Stephanie, home!
[sees Number 5 in her truck at night]
Oh, my God! I knew they'd pick me. I just knew it!
[tells a joke to Number 5]
There's a priest, a minister, and a rabbi. They're out playing golf, and they're trying to decide how much to give to charity. So the priest says, "We'll draw a circle on the ground, we'll throw the money way up in the air, and whatever lands inside the circle, we give to charity." The minister says, "No. We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw the money way up in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle, that's what we'll give to charity." The rabbi says "No, no, no. We'll throw the money way up in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps!"
Attractive. Nice software!
Beautiful Stephanie!