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Scary Movie

Scary Movie quotes

23 total quotes

Gail Hailstorm
Greg
Sheriff
Shorty
TV Reporter


View Quote Reporter: How close were you to the victim?
Shorty: Real close, real close. 'Til the roofies wore off and she woke up, talkin' about pressin' charges. So I just pulled my tongue out her ass and left.
View Quote The Killer: Do you know where I am?
Cindy: Um, you're, you're behind the couch...
Killer: What?! How do you know that?
Cindy: I can um, see your feet.
The Killer: Oh, ****! Okay, turn around, close your eyes, no peeking! (The Killer hides under the rug, but then gets up)
(Cindy turns around)
The Killer: Hey, hey, hey! Turn around! No peeking!
(Cindy quickly turns back around)
The Killer: (hides behind the curtain with his hook hanging out) Okay, now turn around. Now, do you know where I am? Ha ha ha, you don't, do you?
Cindy: No, Mr. Killer, I don't know where you are...
The Killer: I'll give you a big clue! (The Killer pops back out)
(Cindy screams and runs)
The Killer: (chases her and trips) Oh, I gotta stop drinking.
View Quote [At a press conference] Let me just say that the killing of these teens has been tragic, but, uh... hey, you know, shit happens.
View Quote [laughs] Yo, if y'all are watching this tape right now, that means I didn't make it. If I'm a prisoner or worse, dead. Anyhow, I'm gonna tell you the rules to survive this situation. Rule number 1: you gotta be quick. Rule number 2: DON'T fall down. And rule number 3: whatever you do, NEVER LOOK BACK! Y'all wish me luck... SNATCH AND RUN, Y'ALL!
View Quote [reporting live while a student is in the background fooling around] Hello, I'm Gail Hailstorm, author of the book "You're Dead, I'm Rich". A small college town is in shock after the unthinkable has happened. A brutal killing spree that left one teen dead... that's it! [pulls out a gun and shoots the student]... two teens dead and this small town shaken and stirred.
View Quote A small dick's like a disability, man! Would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair?! Huh? Where are you, you sick ****?! I'll kick the shit outta you, all right?! It's not the size of the hammer, it's the nail you're throwing it at!
View Quote Okay, chopzilla, listen up, [holds up her thumb] This little piggy went to the market. [holds up her middle finger] This little piggy stayed home... [points at cameraman] And if this little piggy doesn't roll the goddamn camera, I'm gonna shove my foot up his ****ing ass - [camera clicks on]
View Quote Reporting live for Black TV! White folks are dead, we're getting the **** outta here! (Starts the van as his crew hurriedly jumps in and slams the doors) C'mon ****, let's go, mother****er!