The Royal Tenenbaums quotes

105 total quotes

Chas Tenenbaum
Eli Cash
Etheline Tenenbaum

Margot Tenenbaum
Multiple Characters
Richie Tenenbaum
Royal Tenenbaum

View Quote Chas: Looks like you and Dad are back together again, huh.
Richie: He's your dad too, Chas.
Chas: No, he's not.
Richie: Yes, he is.
Chas: You really hate me, don't you?
Richie: No. I don't. I love you.
Chas: Well, I don't know what you think you're gonna get out of this, but believe me, whatever it is, it's not worth it.
Richie: Chas. I don't want to hurt you. I know what you and the boys have been through. You're my brother and I love you.
Chas: Stop saying that!

View Quote Royal: Can we get somebody over here to kill these mice for us?
Margot: No. They belong to Chas. Or anyway he invented them.
Royal: Get him to stick them in a ****ing cage or something.

View Quote Royal: I thought I'd start by taking you out to visit your grandmother.
Richie: God, I haven't been out there in years.
Margot: I've never been at all. I was never invited.
Royal: Well she wasn't your real grandmother, and I didn't know how much interest you had. But you're invited now!

View Quote Royal Tenenbaum: I never did stop loving you, by the way. Do you believe that?
Etheline Tenenbaum: Not really.

View Quote Eli Cash: You never gave me the time of day until I started getting good reviews.
Margot Tenenbaum: Your reviews aren't that good.

View Quote Richie: I wrote a suicide note.
Chas: You did?
Richie: Right after I regained consciousness.
Chas: Can we read it?
Richie: No.
Chas: Can you paraphrase it for us?
Richie: I don't think so.
Chas Tenenbaum: Was it dark?
Richie Tenenbaum: Of course it's dark, it's a suicide note.

View Quote Etheline Tenenbaum: How long have you been a smoker?
Margot Tenenbaum: Twenty-two years.
Etheline Tenenbaum: Well, I think you should quit.

View Quote Margot Tenenbaum: You probably don't even know my middle name.
Royal Tenenbaum: That's a trick question. You don't have one.
Margot Tenenbaum: Helen.
Royal Tenenbaum: That was my mother's name.
Margot Tenenbaum: I know it was.

View Quote [the priest breaks his ankle and is being loaded into the ambulance]
Raleigh: Do you have an alternate?
Priest: No.
Raleigh: Are there priests on call?

View Quote Eli Cash: Did I hit the dog?
Chas Tenenbaum: Yeah.
Eli Cash: Is he dead?
Chas Tenenbaum: Yeah.
Eli Cash: ...I need help.
Chas Tenenbaum: So do I.

View Quote Chas Tenenbaum: I've had a rough year, Dad.
Royal Tenenbaum: I know you have, Chassie.

View Quote Royal: Richie, this illness, this closeness to death... it's had a profound affect on me. I feel like a different person, I really do.
Richie: Dad, you were never dying.
Royal: ...but I'm gonna live.
[Richie walks away, Margot and Henry Sherman stand on stoop]
Royal: He's not your father.
Margot: Neither are you.

View Quote Royal: You always put raising the kids before everything else.
Etheline: I tried to. Lately I'm feeling like I might not've done such a good job.

View Quote Royal: Look, I know I'm gonna be the bad guy on this one. But I just wanna say the last six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life.
Narrator: Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true.

View Quote Dudley Heinsbergen: You wanna play some word games, or do some experiments on me or anything?