LC Lady Cluck
Down with that scurrrrvy Prince John!
Yeah!!! [sings] Oh, the world will sing
Of an English king
A thousand years from now,
And not because
He passed some laws
Or had that lofty brow.
While bonny good King Richard leads the great crusade he's on,
We'll all have to slave away for that good-for-nothing John!
Incredible as he is inept,
Whenever the history books are kept
They'll call him the Phony King of England!
Friar Tuck A pox on the Phony King of England!
He stands alone
On a giant throne,
Pretending he's the King.
A little tyke
Who's rather like
A puppet on a string!
And he throws an angry tantrum if he cannot have his way,
And then he calls for Mom,
While he's sucking his thumb
You see, he doesn't wanna play.
Too late to be known as John the First,
He's sure to be known as John the Worst.
A pox on that Phony King of England!
Friar Tuck [the Sheriff of Nottingham has just taken the only coin out of the church's Poor Box]
Now, just a minute, Sheriff! Th-th-th-that's the Poor Box!
It sure is, and I'll take it for poor Prince John. [chuckles] Every little bit helps.
FC Female Church Mouse
Ooh, you put that back!
And His Majesty also blesses you, little sister.
Friar Tuck You thieving scoundrel!
[reasonably]
Now, take it easy, Friar, I'm just doing my duty.
Friar Tuck Collecting taxes for that arrogant, greedy, ruthless, no-good Prince John?!
[starting to lose patience]
Listen, Friar, you're mighty preachy and you're gonna preach your neck right into a hangman's noose.
Friar Tuck GET OUTTA MY CHURCH!! [pushes the Sheriff out] Out! Out! Out! Out! [Attacking the Sheriff with a stick] You want taxes? I'll give you taxes!
MC Male Church Mouse
Give it to him! Give it to him, Friar!
[Trigger blinds Friar Tuck with the hood of his coat and the Sheriff puts his head in a shackle]
You're under arrest for high treason to the crown!
Friar Tuck Oh, for heaven's sake, son! You're no outlaw! Why, some day you'll be called a great hero!
A hero? You hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned!
That's a gas, we ain't even been arrested yet!
Friar Tuck Oh, for heaven's sake, son! You're no outlaw! Why, someday you'll be called a great hero!
A hero? You hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned!
That's a gas, we ain't even been arrested yet!
Friar Tuck All right, laugh, you two rogues, but there's gonna be a big to-do in Nottingham. [tastes their overcooked chow, coughing up smoke rings] Well-done, ain't it? Old Prince John's having a [coughs] championship archery tournament [coughs] tomorrow.
Archery tournament? Old Rob could win that standin' on his head, huh, Rob?
Thank you, Little John, but I'm sure we're not invited.
Friar Tuck No, but there's somebody who'll be very disappointed if you don't come...
[chuckles]
Yeah. Old Bushel-Britches, the "Honourable" Sheriff of Nottingham.
Friar Tuck No - Maid Marian!
Friar Tuck Yeah. She-She's gonna give a kiss to the winner! [chuckles]
[excited]
A kiss to the winner! Oo-de-lally! Come on, Johnny! What are we waiting for? [cartwheels away]
Wait a minute, Rob, hold it. That place will be CRAWLIN' with soldiers.
Aha, but remember: "faint heart never won fair lady". Fear not, my friends! [fires an arrow, which bounces back off one of their pans, then throws his hat in the air; the arrow misses it, letting it fall down and rest back on his head] This will be my greatest performance!
