The Ritz quotes

36 total quotes

Chris
Claude Perkins
Gaetano Proclo
Googie Gomez
others

View Quote Papa: Get Proclo.
Vivian: Get Proclo, Papa? Yes Papa, he's just outside! I'll bring him in for your blessing. Oh, Papa, he'll be so pleased! He thought you hated him all these years! Oh, Papa!
Papa: Get Proclo.
Vivian: Get Proclo, Papa?
Papa: [curses in Italian] Kill him! Kill the son of a bitch!
Vivian: But Papa, he's my husband!
Papa: Get Proclo! [dies]

View Quote Proclo: How pissed off is he?
Chris: On a ten-scale? Ten.

View Quote Proclo: I know what you are now! You're a chubby chaser!
Claude: I know!
Proclo: Stop it!
Claude: How?

View Quote Proclo: My, what unusual pants. They look like cowboy chaps.
Man: [in a gruff voice] They are cowboy chaps.
Proclo: Yeah, I was just thinking they look like cowboy chaps.

View Quote Proclo: There's something I want to tell you. I'm afraid uh... I'm afraid I'm not uh...
Chris: You're not gay?
Proclo: No!
Chris: Well what are you, a social worker or something?

View Quote Proclo: You could catch athlete's foot in a place like this!
Tiger: You're lucky if that's all you catch.

View Quote Proclo: You're a good man, uh...?
Abe: Abe.
Proclo: Abe. Abe. I'm gonna have a novena said for you when I get back to Cleveland. What's your last name? Abe what?
Abe: Leftkowitz.
Proclo: I'll still have a novena said for you when I get back.
Chris: You know, I had a novena said for me once. I asked to wake up gorgeous.
Abe: So what happened?
Chris: Well look at me!

View Quote Chubby chaser. Hey, that's pretty funny. Unless you happen to be the chubby they're chasing.

View Quote Do I look like someone who would try to pass a bad check? Yeah? Yeah, of course I do!

View Quote I'm going straight.

View Quote If you're not down in my room in five minutes, then I'm gonna come up here and break your knees!

View Quote It's like some strange heterosexual gypsy curse was put on this place!

View Quote Jelly roll, baby! You're my jelly roll man!

View Quote No rain, he tells me. No rain, he says. No rain! ****ing weather man!

View Quote Plastic Puerto Ricans!