Joe quotes from The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004)

Yes! Oh yes! I, I, I absolutely accept!

Prince William. He's not eligible because he's in line for his own crown.

Oh.

If he's not eligible, why is he included in these pictures?

I just love to look at him.

Me too.

Mmm-hmm.

Your majesty!

Next?

Antoine Suisson of Paris. Plays the harp. No title, but good family.

What about the title "husband?"

Yeah, he's cute.

His boyfriend thinks he's handsome, also.
Mia and Lilly [together]: Right on.

No matter. Put him on all the invitation lists, he's a divine dancer.

Viscount, you may not be aware of what my job entails as the Royal Head of Security. My job is to protect the crown. To make sure no harm comes to the crown. To step in when someone toys with the crown's emotions.

I think the entire country understands how well you cater for the crown's emotions.

If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me, and whatever crimes I commit against you, remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries, including Puerto Rico.

Sir, you will find that the word "fear" is not in my vocabulary!

Perhaps... but it's in your eyes.

How do you feel today, my dear

Honstly, Joe? Not that great.

Would you feel better if you called me "Joey"?

No, Joe.

Good

They're smitten, while playing badminton. Where's my kitten?

The heart does things for reasons that reason cannot understand.

My hello is insignificant. Rosencrantz, Guilderstern, let's go.

Baron Johann Klemp.

No, not appropriate. He's a complusive gambler.

Yes! Oh yes! I, I, I absolutely accept!

Prince William. He's not eligible because he's in line for his own crown.

Oh.

If he's not eligible, why is he included in these pictures?

I just love to look at him.

Me too.

Mmm-hmm.

Your Majesty!

Next?

Antoine Suisson of Paris. Plays the harp. Uh, no title, but good family.

What about the title "husband?"

Yeah, he's cute.

His boyfriend thinks he's handsome, also.

Right on.

No matter. Put him on all the invitation lists, he's a divine dancer. Next. [slideshow continues] Too old. Too young.

Does this popcorn taste like pears?

Mmmm. Genovian specialty.

Arrested too many times.

Wait, no. We need someone titled. Someone who can help you run a country without ego getting in the way. Someone attractive, smart, but not arrogant. Someone with compassion...

Someone like him? [points to Andrew’s picture]

Yes! Someone very much like him. Good choice, Mia! I wonder I didn't think of him before!

Andrew Jacoby, Duke of Kennelwith.

Oh.

Well, he looks... decent.

Joe? I just wanted to say, before I do this, I'm sorry you're retiring.

Who told you that?

The maids know everything.

Princess-- then you should know that Nicholas did not set you up at the lake.

You sure?

The maids know everything.