Andrew Cunningham
Kelly, trust us. It's never cheating if it's with another chick.
Piranha 3D quotes
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Andrew
[watching Danni and Crystal swim naked]
Check it out, they're fish with boobies.
Derrick Jones
Oh, if fish looked like that, I would **** fish. I would only **** fish!
Danni
Nice horn.
Laura Forester
Thanks. Nice boobs.
Danni
Thanks.
Laura Forester
I have a training bra but I don't like to wear it 'cause it itches.
Danni
Tell me about it! Who are you waiting for?
Laura Forester
My brother Jake, he's seventeen. He'll like your boobs too.
Danni
They all do.
Deputy Fallon
Chew on this, mother****ers! [kills piranhas with a motorboat propeller]
Derrick Jones
Jake, they took my penis! They took my penis!
Jake Forester
I am so sorry. We're on the lake.
Julie Forester
What? Where are Laura and Zane?
Jake Forester
They're with me on the boat.
Julie Forester
Oh, my God, Jake! Whatever you do, do not go into the water.
Jake Forester
You don't understand, Mom. Our boat is sinking.
Julie Forester
[shocked]
What? Where are you?
Julie Forester
Are you sure you can do this?
Danni
You better believe it. [climbing on the rope] I don't pole dance for nothing!
Julie Forester
[to Jake before handing him a radio]
You've got a lot of explaining to do, young man!
Laura Forester
You talk funny.
Derrick Jones
Yeah, well, you're short.
Mr. Goodman
[to Julie]
The piranhas that killed those divers, the ones you're hunting for, they're not fully developed. They're the babies.
Novak
The babies? Huh. So where are the parents? [an adult piranha jumps out of the water and kills Novak]
Mr. Goodman
Piranha hunt in packs - not for protection, but for overwhelming force. They're organized, methodical. The first bite draws blood. The blood draws the pack.
Novak
Excuse me... but is that a **** piranha?!
Julie Forester
Carl, it's not the only one.
Novak
[shows the torn diving suit]
Here, here. Yeah, look at this. There are thousands of them. Thousands. And they're pissed!
Mrs. Goodman
You know, I've heard of this happening. It's like those baby alligators in New Jersey, somebody leaves them and they breed...
Novak
What?
Mr. Goodman
Nobody released this fish into the lake.
Julie Forester
What're you talking about?
Mr. Goodman
This particular piranha vanished off the face of the Earth over 2 million years ago! [hurries to his office]
Novak
Um, where's he going?
Mr. Goodman
[Mr. Goodman grabs a large fossil off his shelf and brings it back]
Allow me...to introduce you...[shows the fossil] Pygocentrus nattereri, the original piranha. [Novak and Julie see the live piranha almost exactly matches the fossil] They used to swim the Colorado River, right up until the Pleistocene epoch! I still don't understand how you found one...alive!
Novak
We discovered a subterranean lake through a rift caused by the earthquake.
Mrs. Goodman
But, how could it have survived for so long, cut off from the surface?
Mr. Goodman
CANNIBALISM. They must have fought each other to survive. [looks at the piranha] Look...oh, the scars on the scales. Notice the eyes.
Julie Forester
Jesus, it's like he's staring back at you.
Mr. Goodman
No, no, no. Look, staring... sensing...[slowly lowers two tips of his fingers into the tank. The piranha rushes to bite them, Goodman pulls them away in the nick of time]
Novak
God, don't do that!
Mr. Goodman
Piranha hunt in packs. Not for protection, but the overwhelming force. They're organized, methodical. The first bite draws blood, the blood draws the pack.
Sam
Something bit me.
Paula
Oh, yeah, right. I thought you always liked that kind of stuff.
Julie Forester
[brings out a taser gun]
You boys take one more step, you'll be pissing lightning bolts into next week.
Novak Radzinsky
[to Mr. Goodman]
Excuse me, but is that a **** piranha?
Julie Forester
Get the **** out of the water!