Stu Shepard quotes from Phone Booth (2003)

View Quote The first step to being noticed is being mentioned.

View Quote [to "Corky"] Get the **** outta here before I call Hillary and have you deported to New Jersey!

View Quote I never did anything for someone who couldn't do something for me.

View Quote My $2,000 watch is a fake, and so am I.

View Quote I've been something I'm not for so long, and I'm scared you won't like what's underneath. But here I am, just flesh, blood, and weakness...

View Quote I have never done anything for anybody who couldn't do something for me. I string along an eager kid with promises I'll pay him money. I only keep him around because he looks up to me. Adam, if you're watching, don't be a publicist. You're too good for it. I lie in person and on the phone. I lie to my friends. I lie to newspapers and magazines who, who sell my lies to more and more people. I am just a part of a big cycle of lies, I should be ****in' president. I wear all this Italian shit because underneath I still feel like the Bronx. I think I need these clothes and this watch. My two thousand dollar watch is a fake and so am I. I've neglected the things I should have valued most. I valued this shit. I take off my wedding ring to call Pam. Kelly, that's Pam. Don't blame her. I never told her I was married. And if I did she, she would have told me to go home. Kelly, looking at you now, I'm ashamed of myself. Alright? I mean, work so hard on this image, on Stu Shepherd, the asshole who refers to himself in the third person that I only proved I should be alone. I have just been dressing up as something I'm not for so long, I'm so afraid no one will like what's underneath. But here I am, just flesh and blood and weakness, and uh and I love you so **** much. And, um, I take off this ring because it only reminds me of how I've failed you, and I don't, don't want to give you up. I want to make things better, but it may not be my choice anymore. You deserve better.

View Quote Pizza Guy: [knocks on Phone Booth] Excuse me.
Stu: I'm tryna make a call here.
Pizza Guy: This is for you. Half pepperoni, Half mushroom, Extra crisp.
Stu: You ever heard of delivering a Pizza to a **** Phone Booth? I don't think so.
Pizza Guy: [Reads address label on Pizza] Gentleman occupying Phone Booth, 53rd between Broadway and 8th.
Stu: It's a mistake.
Pizza Guy: What am I supposed to do with the pie? It's all paid for?
Stu: Homeless guy just ran the block, give him the Pizza and say 'You can turn away from it but you can't make it go away', how's that?
Pizza Guy: [Tries to open Phone Booth door] But, they always...
Stu: [Stu gets agitated] GET OFF THE **** PIZZA, ALRIGHT?!
Pizza Guy: That language is uncalled for.
Stu: Holy shit. I'm sorry. Please return to sender. **** OFF! Here you go, $5, eat the pizza yourself, you look like you could use a good meal.

View Quote The Caller: That isn't very nice, Stu.
Stu: Did you call me Stu? Who's Stu? I don't know any Stu.
The Caller: Why, do you prefer Stuart?

View Quote Stu: Where? Where are you?
The Caller: There are hundred of windows out there. Why don't you check them out?

View Quote Stu: You can see me right now?
The Caller: Uh-huh.
Stu: What am I doing?
[Stu scratches himself]
The Caller: You're scratching your ear. Now you're brushing your hair back.
[Stu gives the finger to the windows in the buildings around him]
The Caller: That's not very nice, Stu.

View Quote The Caller: Well, there is someone I'd like you to call.
Stu: Name it.
The Caller: Try the number you dialed when you first got into the booth.
[Stu laughs nervously]
Stu: I don't know what you're talking about pal.
The Caller: No? Lucky you then, because I wrote it down. I can see every number you pressed. Let's see if Pam is still at work.
Stu: No!
The Caller: Then I guess I'll have to do it.
Stu: Look don't!
The Caller: Too late. It's already ringing. I'll put her on speaker so you can hear.
Stu: Yer **** kiddin'!
The Caller: Stu, I never kid.

View Quote Stu: So you'd just whack me for no particular reason?
The Caller: Oh, I've got plenty of reasons. And you keep giving me more.

View Quote Stu: You shoot a gun here there'll be pandemonium, cops will be swarming all over the block
The Caller: Think so? Let's see. One...
[Stu ducks]
The Caller: Two. That won't help you. Three!
[fires gun and shoots a toy robot next to the phone booth - no one notices]
The Caller: [deadpan alarm] Oh Stu, look at everybody... Look at all the people screaming, Stu. Here come the cops. Sniper on the roof. Gunfire. Hit the deck.

View Quote Stu: What did I do to deserve this, huh? Why me?
The Caller: If you have to ask, then you're not ready to know yet.

View Quote The Caller: If only you had dealt with the man decently, this might not have been necessary.
Stu: I offered him money. I offered him my watch.
The Caller: But not your respect, which is what he really wanted. You were dismissive, just as you were to the nice pizza guy. You are guilty of inhumanity to your fellow man.

View Quote The Caller: You're in this position because you're not telling the truth.
Stu: No, I'm in this **** position because YOU HAVE A GUN!

View Quote The Caller: [about Stu's wife, Kelly] You think she didn't know she was being watched.
Stu: What?
The Caller: But beautiful women always know. That false indifference, superior air. It's just a tease. They want eyes on them. Why does she put on her make up? Do her hair? Dress so nicely? Not for her husband which she hardly ever sees, no, it's for somebody else to notice... I notice.

View Quote Felicia: Get done in there, gotta hit this trick spot before the next bitch take my score.
Stu: Look go away!
Felicia: Go away? Hang up the ****in' phone, ****!
Stu: [Stu looks at Felicia and then close the booth]
Felicia: This mother****er! You don't eyeball me! Bitch!
[Felicia walks away]

View Quote Felicia: Goddammit, man! You done made me hurt my dick hand.
Stu: Ooooh! I'm sure you're just as good with the other hand.

View Quote The Caller: You'd shoot me if you had the chance, wouldn't you?
Stu: With a big **** smile on my face.
The Caller: There's the spirit.

View Quote The Caller: If this is true Stuart, then I have to take somebody with me don't I? And since Kelly is the most important thing in your life, I'll take her.
Stu: No, take me! I'm the **** one you want! Take me!

View Quote The Caller: What they don't know, we do to them in our minds, isn't that right?
Stu: You sick ****!
The Caller: Perfect violation.

View Quote Stu: [to Caller] Stay the **** out of this
Capt. Ramey: Who do you keep talking to on the phone?
Stu: Nobody
Capt. Ramey: Your ah... your friend, your parent, your lover? Who?
The Caller: Careful, Stuart. Careful.
Stu: My psychiatrist.
The Caller: [laughs] Excellent! I should have thought of that.

View Quote Stu: I already told you this is a private conversation. Now, what the **** do you want?
Capt. Ramey: I just want you to know, that it's safe outside the booth.
The Caller: No, it's not.
Stu: Always get out of the booth. I like in the **** booth. It's my whole world now, this is my booth and I'm not coming out ever. You hear me? Never.

View Quote Stu: You shoot the guy, and I'm responsible?
The Caller: It looked that way from up here.
Stu: I don't know what I did to you, but whatever it was I'm glad. Alright, I wish it had been worse, I wish you had **** died.
The Caller: Yes! Finally some honesty.

View Quote The Caller: There are rounds left in it.
Stu: I totally couldn't give a shit.

View Quote The Caller: What if I told you I was just above the theatre, four floors up? See the pink curtains? There you go Stuart yes... Yoohoo... Yoohoo.
[laughs]
Stu: Why did you do that?
The Caller: Because it's fun!

View Quote The Caller: The odds are even now Stu. Isn't that what you wanted? You know where I am and you have a gun. If you have it in you, you can take me down.
Stu: ****! They'll kill me before I can get a shot at you.
The Caller: Ah you're probably right. I wasn't really there anyway. You would've just spoiled some nice lady's curtains.

View Quote The Caller: Stu, you didn't tell your wife the truth, you're cheating.
Stu: I'm not cheating on Kelly! I never have!
The Caller: Oh, then what do you call it?
Stu: Look, you're a guy, sometimes you wanna know it's a possibility, alright? You know, it's like having a beautiful home, but you still dream of that quick vacation down there, you know, some nice hotel, a great view, I don't know, maybe a pool. But it's a just a fantasy because you'll never really leave home! Do you hear what I'm saying?
The Caller: [laughs] Kelly is a home and Pam is a motel. I'm sure they'll both appreciate that.
Stu: Oh, **** you!
The Caller: Hey, that kind of language is uncalled for.

View Quote The Caller: And I wanted to **** her.
Stu: And I wanted to sleep with her.
The Caller: No, and I wanted to **** her. Say it. SAY IT!
Stu: And I wanted to **** her. I'm sorry.
Kelly Shepard: Whatever you did, I don't care.
[Sobs sweetly]
Kelly Shepard: Please just... come out of the booth, OK?
Stu: That's all I did. That's all I did, I'm sorry.
[to the caller]
Stu: Alright, I've done what you asked. That's it. I've had enough of this game.
The Caller: I haven't.
Stu: You said you'd let us go.
The Caller: I changed my mind.
Stu: You miserable ****! You can't do this... you can't do this to me. I took all your shit... I did everything you **** asked.
[the Caller just starts laughing again]
Stu: Alright, you lied to me. I've had enough of this game. I've **** had enough. You go **** yourself. Later.
[Hangs up]

View Quote [Pam has just arrived at the scene]
The Caller: Looks like someone watches the news.
Stu: Who?
The Caller: [Referring to Pam] The motel.
Stu: Oh God.
The Caller: I think she could use a new headshot.
Stu: Don't!
The Caller: Then take down the gun!
Stu: Look, this has nothing to do with her!
The Caller: She has everything to do with this, Stuart! You're here because you called her, she's here because you called her, now take it down! Don't make me hurt Pam, Stuart, take down the gun.
[Stu begins to lift up the ceiling panel to get the gun planted there]
Stu: There's nothing there.
The Caller: Nothing but your fingerprints on the finest cop killer money can buy. Come on Stu, lets see it.