JJ
[quoting Notting Hill]
I'm just a guy...standing in front of another guy...asking him not to shoot him.
Tied for most-quoted character in My Spy (2020): in 6 of its 12 quotes
Most scenes with: Sophie (2)
The objective of this exercise is to get past me. A good idea might be to cause a distraction, because otherwise, there'd be 0 chance of you getting-- [Sophie dumps fish bowl, gasps] Blueberry!
More lines from JJ
1 quoteScenes with JJ
4 scenes
JJ
What do you do for a living?
[hooked up to the lie detector]
I'm a KGB agent posing as a 4th grader. My brother has three legs and sells crack, and my mother is a prostitute.
JJ
[turns off the lie detector]
I don't need a machine to tell me if someone's lying.
Yeah?
JJ
[pulls Sophie's chair]
Yeah. I can smell a lie.
[elevator door opens and Kate sees Sophie holding JJ's hand]
Mom, Mom... No! Wait... Oh my god!
Kate
[Kate starts to attack JJ]
Let go of my daughter! Give me my phone. I'm calling the police.
Mom, you don't understand. I ignored your rules and went to the park. There were two jerks from school that pushed me down and it really hurt. JJ saw it. He lives upstairs. He recognized me from the building and calmly talked to the boys and told them what they did was wrong then got me ice cream to make me feel better and walked me home!
Kate
Oh. I. um. I'm sorry. This is my kid. Can I just help you?
JJ
No. it's okay. I'm good. I'm just gonna head home and gather my thoughts. Really, I'm fine. Excuse me.
[Carlos, Todd, Kate, and Sophie watch JJ walk out of the elevator injured and limping to his room]
JJ
It was good. Yours?
Fine.
JJ
Something wrong?
No.
JJ
Are you sure? 'Cause it seems like something might be bothering you.
You helped train her how to pass a lie detector, but not me. I mean, I don't wanna be ageist here, JJ, but she is 9. She still sleeps with a night-light. I'm a professional hacker with a Master's degree in English!
JJ
We just spent a little time together. I wasn't teaching her anything.
Oh, well, you taught her how to place shaped charges! [shows footage]
JJ
It was just Play-Doh.
That's not the point.
JJ
Should I get you some Play-Doh?
I can get my own Play-Doh.
JJ
Are you sure? Because I'd be happy to get you some.
Don't you make this about the Play-Doh. This is about us! We're partners!
JJ
I already told you: you are not my partner. [Bobbi walks out] Hey! Did you make dinner?
Kate
We're out of olive oil
JJ
There's a new bottle in the back behind the mustard. [Kate and Sophie looks at JJ] I'd... bet.
Kate
Thanks.