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Monsters University

Monsters University quotes

38 total quotes

Dean Hardscrabble
James P. "Sulley" Sullivan
Michael "Mike" Wazowski

View Quote Sulley: So... you guys are scaring majors?
Don Carlton: [chuckling] We were, but none of us lasted very long. I guess we just weren't what old Hardscrabble was looking for. Don Carlton, mature student. 30 years in a textile industry, and then ol' dandy Don got downsized. Figured I could throw myself a pity party or go back to school and learn the computers.
Terry: Hello! I'm Terry with a 'Y'.
Terri: And I'm Terri with an 'I'. I'm a dance major!
Terry: And I'm not.
Terri: 5, 6, 7, 8... [starts to dance while his brother rolls his eyes] 7, 8, turn! And tu... Why didn't you turn?
Terry: Because we never agreed to do this.
Terri: You said this was gonna be cool.
Terry: No one said this was gonna be cool.
Terri: Now I'm embarrassed.
Terry: Now you're embarrassed?
Terri: Yes, because it's in front of people!
Terry: You should wake up embarrassed.
Art: [rolls down the stairs] Hey, hey! I'm Art! New Age Philosophy Major. Excited to live with you, and laugh with you... [changes his mood] And cry with you. I thought you'd like to keep a dream journal!
Squishy: Guess that leaves me. [Sulley suddenly screams once seeing him] My name's Scott Squibbles. My friends call me Squishy. I'm undeclared, unattached and... unwelcomed pretty much everywhere but here.
Mike: Well now that we've all been introduced. As captain of our team...
Sulley: [cuts him off again] So basically you guys have no scaring experience?
Squishy: [laughing] Not a lot, but now we've got you!
Don: You're about the scariest fellow I've ever seen. Even with them pink polka dots.
Sulley: Aww, thanks.
Mike: Well, actually, I think I bring the whole package.
Squishy: [grabs one of Sulley's hands] Your hands are as big as my face!
Terri: [referring to Sulley] He's like a mountain... with fur!
Sulley: Oh, come on. I don't even work out.
Art: Yeah, me neither. I don't wanna get too big. [sniffs]
View Quote Terry: We're experts in the ancient craft of close-up magic.
Terri: It's all about... [the cards vanish] ...Misdirection.
View Quote [VERY last lines after the credits]
Student Slug Monster: [panting; then sighs] I made it! My first day of class!
[The camera zooms ins where the monster janitor cleans the floor]
Janitor: Uh, the school year's over, son. You missed it. [cleans the floor with the mop]
Student Slug Monster: Great.
[The Student Slug Monster slowly crawls away from the classroom]
View Quote [After Mike gets on the bus to leave the university; Sulley suddenly throws himself at the window]
Sulley: WAZOWSKI! [falls off the bus]
Mike: AAAH!! (What the...? Sulley?) Stop the bus! [the bus stops, and he rushes off] Are you crazy?!
Sulley: Mike, I don't know a single scarer who can do what you do. I know everyone sees us together, they think I'm the one running the show, but the truth is I've been riding your coattails since day 1! You made the deal with Hardscrabble! You took a hopeless team, and made them champions! All I did was catch a pig!
Mike: Technically, I caught the pig.
Sulley: Exactly, and you think you're just okay?! You pulled off the biggest scare this school's ever seen!
Mike: That wasn't me.
Sully: That was you! You think I could have done that without you? I didn't even bring a pencil on the first day of school! Mike, you're not scary, not even a little, but you are fearless! And if Hardscrabble can't see that, then she can just–
Hardscrabble: [perched on a stone pedestal] I can just what? Careful, Mr. Sullivan. I was just warming up to you.
Sulley: Sorry.
Dean: Well, gentlemen. It seems you made the front page again. [hands Mike a newspaper, which tells how they were both expelled] The two of you did something together that no one has ever done before, you surprised me. Perhaps I should keep an eye for more... surprises like you in my program, but as far as the 2 of you are concerned, there is nothing I can do for you now... [smiling slightly] Except perhaps... wish you luck. And Mr. Wazowski, keep surprising people.
View Quote [as Oozma Kappa are going to their first Scare Game challenge]
Art: Of all the sewers in this school, this one has always been my favorite.
Terry: Art, you've been here before?
Art: I have a life outside the house, you know!
View Quote [as ROR is selling t-shirts with pictures of Oozma Kappa being humiliated in the party]
Mike: Hey, what do you think you're doing?!
Johnny: Raising a little money for charity.
Mike: Yeah, well stop it!
Johnny: You want us to stop raising money for charity? That's not cool.
Chet: [shouting to the public] This guy hates charity!
Mike: I want you to stop making us look like fools!
Johnny: Hey, you're making yourself look like fools. Let's be honest, boys. You're never gonna be real scarers, 'cause real scarers look like us. But hey, if you really want to work for a scaring company, they're always... hiring in the mail room. [points to a Monsters Inc. mail room ad in a newspaper]
Mike: [His friends were leaving] Guys! Hold on! Hey, hey, hey, wait a second. Don't listen to him! We just, need to keep trying!
Sulley: [mad] No! You need to stop trying! You can train monsters like this all you want, but you can't change who they are. [walks off in anger]
Don: Mike... We appreciate everything you done, but he's right. No matter how much we train, we'll never look like them. We're built for other things.
[walks off]
Chet: Sorry, squirts! Some monsters just aren't cut out for the big leagues.
Mike: The big leagues.
View Quote [At the lake, Sulley finds a saddened Mike, after he failed to scare children]
Sulley: [Mike notices him from behind] Mike. C’mon, buddy. Let’s get you out of here. [Mike ignores him] This is all my fault. I'm sorry.
Mike: [Softly, sadly] You were right - they weren't scared of me. I did everything right. I wanted it more than anyone, and I thought... I thought if I wanted it enough, I could show everybody that... that Mike Wazowski is something special... and I'm just... not. [Angrily splashes his reflection on the lake]
Sulley: [sympathetically] Look, Mike, I know how you feel.
Mike: [angry] DON'T DO THAT! Please, don't do that! You do not know how I feel!
Sulley: Mike, calm down...
Mike: Monsters like you have everything! You don't have to be good! You can mess up all over and over again, and the whole world loves you!
Sulley: Mike!
Mike: You'll never know what it's like to fail, because you were born a SULLIVAN!
Sulley: [angrily] Yeah, I'm a Sullivan! I'm the Sullivan who flunked out of every test! The one who got kicked out of the program, and the one who was so afraid of letting everyone down that I cheated... and I lied! [sighs] Mike, I'll never know how you feel… but you're not the only failure here. I act scary, Mike… but most of the time... I'm terrified. [For 15 seconds, he and Mike sat together in silence]
Mike: How come you never told me that before?
Sulley: Because... we weren't friends before.
View Quote [Due to an argument between Mike and Sulley, the latter accidentally knocks down the Dean’s scream canister and breaks it]
Mike: I’m so sorry (about your canister).
Sulley: (I didn't mean to knock it over.) It was an accident.
Dean: What, this? My souvenir from a lifetime of scaring? Accidents happen, don’t they? The important thing is: no one got hurt.
Mike: You’re taking this remarkably well.
Dean: Now, let’s continue the exams. [to Mike] Mr. Wazowski, I’m a 5-year-old girl on a farm in Kansas afraid of lightning. Which scare do you use?
Mike: [confused] Should I go up on the...?
Dean: Which scare do you use?
Mike: That is a shadow approach with a crackle holler.
Dean: Demonstrate. [Mike inhales deeply] Stop. Thank you.
Mike: I didn't get to sh–
Dean: I've seen enough. [to Sulley] I am a 7-year-old boy– [Sulley roars loudly] I wasn't finished.
Sulley: I don’t need to know any of that stuff to scare.
Dean: That “stuff” would have informed you that this particular child is afraid of snakes, so a roar wouldn’t make him scream, it would make him cry, alerting his parents, exposing the monster world, destroying life as we know it, and of course, we can’t have that, so I’m afraid I can not recommend that you continue in the scaring program. Good day.
Sulley: Wait, what? But I'm a Sullivan.
Dean: Well, I'm sure your family will be very disappointed. [ROR leaves the class; Sulley looks at Mike angrily and storms out of the class] And Mr. Wazowski, what you lack is something that cannot be taught. You're not scary. You will not be continuing in the scaring program.
Mike: Please, let me try out the simulator. I will surprise you!
Dean: Surprise me? I doubt that very much.
View Quote [Last lines]
Merv: Wazowski, good luck on your first day!
Mike: Thanks, Merv!
Monster: Good luck, Mike!
Mike: Thanks, fellas! [pauses at the line on the floor which is same line he crossed when he was 6]
Sulley: You coming, coach?
Mike: You better believe it.
View Quote [Mike approaches the Greek Council stand]
Claire: MU Greek Council! We sponsor the annual Scare Games.
Mike: [snatches a paper from the booth] The scare what now?
Brock: [pounds his fist against the table] The Scare Games! A super intense scaring competition!
Claire: They’re crazy dangerous, so anything could happen.
Brock: A bunch of guys went to the hospital last year!
Claire: You could totally die.
Brock: [pounds his fist again] And it’s worth it! You get a chance to prove that you are the best!
Mike: [staring at the flier; whispering] Cool.
View Quote [Mike checks on the box in the Scare bed, and notices a broken panel on the side]
Mike: [opens the door] It's been tampered with.
Sulley: Uh... I don't think you should be messing with that.
Mike: [notices that his settings are at 0 instead of 10] Why are my settings... different?
Sulley: [desperate] Mike, we should leave.
Mike: [stands up; softly] Did you do this?
Sulley: Mike...
Mike: [louder] Did you do this?
Sulley: [nervously] I-- Uh-- [sighs; gives in] Yes, I did, but you don't understand!
Mike: [hurt] Why, why did you do this?
Sulley: [sighs again] You know, just in case...
Mike: [skeptically] In case of what? [pause; unhappily] You don't think I'm scary. (Do you?)
Sulley: [pleading] Mike...
Mike: [interrupts] You said you believed in me, [gets very angry] but you're just like Hardscrabble, you're just like everyone else!
Sulley: Look, you'll get better and better–
Mike: [explodes with rage] I'm as scary as you, I'm as scary as anyone!
Sulley: I just wanted to help!
Mike: No, you just wanted to help yourself!
Sulley: [angrily] Well, what was I supposed to do, let the whole team fail because you don't have it!?
[Mike becomes shocked and hurt by the remark and Sulley becomes guilty, realizing what he just said]
View Quote [looking at his ID card] I can't believe it. I'm officially a college student!
View Quote [referring to Mike] I'm gonna wipe the floor with that little know-it-all.
View Quote [to Mike] You're not scary, not even a little bit, but you are fearless!
View Quote [to Sulley] Just wait, hotshot. I'm gonna scare circles around you this year.