Narrator In the land of Sparta, when babies were born, the elders would inspect them for defects. If any imperfections were found, the baby was rejected, and if the baby was Vietnamese, Brangelina would get first dibs.
Played by Robin Atkin Downes 
Meet the Spartans (2008) · 50 quotes
Meet the Spartans (2008) · 50 quotes
5th most-quoted character in Meet the Spartans (2008): in 3 of its 50 quotes
A line from NarratorXerxes, he looked a lot like that fat guy from Borat.
Scenes with Narrator
2 scenes Narrator Narrator Buttmeister Presents: Real men of genius!
Male singer
Real men of genius!
Narrator Today, we salute you, Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual. [Leonidas and his men balked at the comment]
Male singer
Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual!
Narrator Wearing nothing but leather underwear and a cape, you charge your enemy like an oiled-up hairless wonder.
Male singer
Sprayed-on tan! *Leonidas sprays himself*
Narrator Sure, there's danger: charging rhinos, stampeding elephants, and that cute toga-wearing guy named Chad.
Male singer
Ooh!
Narrator You only went out on one date, but you'll remember it forever... forever... *Leonidas' army spits out their beer*
Male singer
Take your daily Valtrex! *Leonidas chugs a whole pill bottle of Valtrex
Narrator Your keen instincts tell you to cut, slice, and chop every man you see. But enough about your career as a hairstylist. Let's talk war.
Male singer
Ow! The curling iron is hot!
Narrator So this Butt's for you, King Leonidas! Because when the going gets tough, the tough go antiqueing. *Leonidas spits out his beer*
Male singer
Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual! Oooooohhhh, yeah.
