You scratched my car!

Where?

[showing him]

Right there!

Oh. That was already there.

You... you liar! You know what I'm going to do about this?

What?

Nothing! Because if I take it to small claims court, it will just drain eight hours out of my life and you probably won't show up, and even if I got the judgment you'd just stiff me anyway. So what I'm gonna do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe!

You've been here before, haven't ya?