Lady quotes from Lady and the Tramp (1955)

Well, here we are.

Lady

The zoo?

Sure! No, no. This way. Follow me.

Lady

Oh!

What's the matter, Pige?

Lady

We can't go in.

Why not?

Lady

Well, the sign says, "No Dogs Allowed."

Yeah, well, well, that's... That's the angle.

Lady

Angle?

Look, we'll just wait for the right... [the professor appears reading a book] Uh-oh! Here we are now. Just lay low.

Hey, you!

Uh, I beg your pardon? Were you addressing me?

What's the matter!? [shows the professor the "No Dogs Allowed" sign] Can't you read!?

Why, yes. Several languages.

Oh, a wise guy, eh? [Tramp growls viciously at the zoo security guard] All right, now... [points to Tramp with his nightstick] ...what's this creature doing here?

He's not my dog. [Tramp jumps into the professor's arms]

Oh, he's not, eh!? [Tramp barks at the zoo security guard]

Let go! Go away! Go on! Why, certainly not, officer.

Aye, and I suppose you'll be telling me next that it was the dog that was whistling, eh!?

I-I-I'm certain I don't know.

Oh, so, I'm a liar now, am I!? [angrily] Well, you listen to me! AHA! Resisting an officer of the law! [Tramp tears off the back of the professor's suit, in order to provoke him into getting into trouble with the zoo security guard] Oh, you're going to pay! [Tramp bites the zoo security guard's buttocks] OW!! Pull a knife on me, would you!? Trying to assassinate me, are you!? Carrying a concealed weapon! [the zoo security guard's and the professor's fight makes some nearby elephants, lions, and giraffes think the zoo security guard and the professor both have gone crazy, as they watch the fight from their exhibits]

Come on, Pidge. The place is ours. [he enters the zoo with Lady, as the zoo security guard and the professor continue fighting]

We'd better go through this place from A to Z. Apes. No, no, no, no. No use even asking them.

They wouldn't understand.

Lady

They wouldn't?

Uh-uh. Too closely related to humans. Uh-oh! Alligators. Now, there's an idea! [to the alligator about the muzzle] Say, Al? Do you suppose you could nip this contraption off for us?

Glad to oblige. [Opens his mouth wide to the point where Lady's entire head can fit in it]

Whoa, WHOA!!!! [The alligator nearly, and accidentally, bites Lady's head off, but the Tramp saves her at the last second and a hyena laughs hysterically in his cage at both Lady and Tramp] Huh! If anybody ever needed a muzzle, it's him.

TIMBER!!!!

Hey, Pigeon! Look out! [a tree falls over close to the two dogs] Now, what hair-brained idiot would--? [notices a beaver gnawing on the tree] Hey, look! A beaver! Here's the answer to our problem!

Let me see here... 6 foot 6 and 7/16 inches.

Uh... Pardon me, friend! I wonder if you'd do us a little...

Busy, sonny! Busy! Can't stop to gossip now. [tries to push the tree] Gotta slide this sycamore to...the swamp.

Yeah, well, this will only take a second of your time.

Only a second!? L-Listen! Listen, sonny! Do you realize every second 70 centimeters of water is wasted over that spill-way?! [points to his unfinished dam]

Yeah, but...

Gotta get this log moving, sonny! Gotta get it moving! T'ain't the cuttin' takes some time! It's the doggone haulin'!

The haulin'! Exactly! Now, what you need is--

I'd better bisect this section here. [begins gnawing on the log]

What you need is a log puller! [the beaver gnaws loudly] [screaming] I SAID A LOG PULLER!!!

I ain't "deaf", sonny. There's no need to... Did you say, "log puller"!?

And by a lucky coincidence, you see before you, modeled by the lovely little lady, the new, improved, patented, handy-dandy, never-failed, little-giant log puller! The Busy Beaver's Friend!

You don't say!

Guaranteed not to wear, tear, rip, or ravel! Turn around, sister, and show the customer the merchandise. And it cuts log-hauling time 66%!

66%, eh!? [chuckles] Think of that! Well, how does it work?

Why, it's no work at all. You neatly slip this ring into the limb like this... [slips the leash of Lady's muzzle into the limb of the log] and haul it off!

Say, you mind if I slip it on for size?

Help yourself, friend! Help yourself!

Okay, don't mind if I do! [pulls on the rope to Lady's muzzle] How do you get the "consarned" thing off, sonny?

Glad you brought that up, friend. Glad you brought that up. To remove it, simply place the strap between your teeth.

Like this? [puts the strap of Lady's muzzle between his teeth]

Correct, friend! Now bite hard! [the beaver bites the strap of the muzzle, removing it from Lady] You see?

Lady

It's off!

Say, that is simple!

Well, friend, we'll be on our way now, so...

Uh-uh-uh-uh! Not so fast now, sonny! [puts on the muzzle] I'll have to make certain it's satisfactory before we settle on a price.

Oh, no! It's all yours, friend! You can keep it!

Uh, I can, huh? I can!?

Lady

Uh-huh. It's a free sample. [Tramp is astonished by this remark]

Well, thanks a lot! Thanks ever so... [the log rolls down the hill, causing the beaver to tumble with it; when the log hits the river, it blocks it completely, completing the dam] Say! It works swell! [water squirts out of the beaver's mouth]

Lady

But when she put that horrible muzzle on me...

Oh, say no more. I get the whole picture. Aunts, cats, muzzles. Well, that's what comes of tying yourself down to one family.

Lady

Haven't you a family?

One for every day of the week. The point is, none of them have me.

Lady

I'm afraid I don't understand.

It's simple. You see... Hey! Something tells me it's supper-time. Come on. I'll show you what I mean. Now take the Schultzes here. Little Fritzie... That's me, Pige. Makes this his Monday home.

Lady

Monday home?

Ach, ja! Mondays is Mama Schultz cooking der Wiener schnitzel. [normal voice] Delicious! [in Irish accent] Now, O'Briens here is where little Mike... Sure and that's me again, Pige. Comes of a Tuesday.

Lady

"Of a Tuesday"?

Begorra and that's when they're after havin' that darlin' corn beef. [normal voice] You see, Pige, when you're footloose and collar-free... ah, you take nothing but the best.

Trusty

You see, Miss Lady, there comes the time in the life of all humans when, uh - Well, as they put it, uh, these Birds and these Bees? Or, well, uh, the stork? You know? No? Well, then, uh-

What he's trying to say, lassie, is Darling is expecting the wee-bairn.

Lady

"Bairn"?

Trusty

He means a baby, Miss Lady.

Lady

Oh. What's a baby?

Well, they, they resemble humans.

Trusty

But I'd say the mite smaller.

Aye, and they walk on all fours.

Trusty

And, if I remember correctly, they beller a lot.

Aye, and they're very expensive. You will not be permitted to play with.

Trusty

But they're mighty sweet.

And very, very soft.

Just a cute little bundle...of trouble. [the three see him in shock] Yeah, they scratch, pinch, pull ears - Aw, but shucks, any dog can take that. It's what they do to your happy home. [pushes Jock out of the way] Move it over, will ya, friend? Homewreckers. That's what they are.

Look here, laddie! Who are you to barge in?!

The voice of experience, buster. Heh-heh. Boy, just wait 'til Junior gets here. You feel the urge for a nice, comfortable scratch, and... [Trusty scratches himself; imitates female voice] "Put that dog out! He'll get fleas all over the baby!" [normal voice] You start barking at some strange mutt... [barks at Jock; imitates female voice] "Stop that racket, you'll wake the baby!" [normal voice] And then - then they hit you in the room and board department. Oh, remember those nice, juicy cuts of beef? [Lady imagines the beef] Forget 'em. [the beef changes into baby food] Leftover baby food. [Lady shake the food off her face] And that nice, warm bed by the fire? [Lady rests on the bed, but the fireplace changes into the doghouse in the rain] A leaky dog house.

Lady

Oh, dear.

Do not listen to him, Lassie! No human is that cruel!

Trusty

Why, everybody knows a dog's best friend is his human.

Where do you fall for that old line?

Aye, and we have no need for mongrels, and their radical ideas! Off with you, now! Off with you! Off with you!

Well, okay, Sam.

My name is Jock!

Uh... I mean, Jock.

Heather Lad Glenn O'Cairn to you!

Okay, okay, okay! [to Lady] Now, remember this, Pidge. A human heart is only for love and affection. But, when a baby moves in, the dog moves out.