[Having got Eggsy off a car theft charge, Harry talks with him in the pub]
So before you was a tailor, was you in the Army? Like an officer?
Hart Not quite.
So where was you posted - Iraq or something?
Hart Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.
But my dad saved your life, yeah?
Hart The day your father died, I missed something. And if it weren't for his courage, my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. So I owe him. Your father was a brave man. A good man. And having read your files, I'd think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made.
[angry]
You can't talk to me like that-!
Hart Huge I.Q., great performance in primary school. And it all went tits up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.
Do you think there's a lot of jobs going around here, yeah?
Hart Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. First prize, regional under tens' gymnastics, two years in a row. Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material.
Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad, you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.
Hart Of course. Always someone else's fault. Who's to blame you for quitting the Marines? You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad! Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do! We ain't got much choice, you get me? And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses, we'd do just as well as you, if not better.
[[Eggsy wakes up, tied to a railroad track. He sees the Interrogator approach him with a knife in hand]
Who the **** are you? Where am I?
I The Interrogator
This knife can save your life.
[Eggsy suddenly notices a train approaching] [Struggling to get out of the ropes]
****!
I The Interrogator
My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. What the **** is Kingsman? And who is Harry Hart?
I don't know who the **** that is! Shit!
I The Interrogator
Oh, Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer!
****! Just cut the **** ropes, please!
I The Interrogator
Hey, Eggsy, is Kingsman worth dying for?
[Eggsy watches the train getting closer.]
**** YOOOOOOU!
Harry [Eggsy sustains the "you" as the train passes over him. He discovers that the section dropped down before impact. Harry arrives at the scene]
Congratulations. Bloody well done.
Harry Roxy passed with flying colours. Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
I The Interrogator
[Cuts to Charlie tied to the same tracks, The Interrogator standing over him.]
Is Kingsman worth dying for?
C Charlie
No it **** isn't! Shit! I'll tell you what you want, please! Chester King's Arthur! Arthur's head of the secret spy agency! It's called Kingsman! Get me out of here!
I The Interrogator
Thank you, Charlie. Much appreciated.
C Charlie
[He walks away.]
No, that wasn't the **** deal! FUUUUUUUCK!
A Arthur
[Train passes over Charlie and the section he's tied to drops down. Section rises as Arthur arrives at the scene.]
I've had such high hopes for you. You're a bloody disgrace.
C Charlie
I'm so sorry. Please untie me.
C Charlie
[Arthur walks away.]
Arth- Arthur, please. Shit. Anyone!
[Merlin, Harry, Eggsy, Roxy, and Percival observe the scene in the control room.]
Galahad, Percival, congratulations. Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. As tradition allows, you will have 24 hours to spend with them. Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. From now on, there are no safety nets. Understood?
[Eggsy and Roxy look at each other and nod to Merlin.]
Good. Dismissed.
[The Kingsman agents and candidates leave the room. Merlin turns around and turns on the loudspeaker at the railway.]
Charlie. Time to go home.
C Charlie
**** you! **** Dad's going to hear about this!
CL Church Leader
[Harry is in a hate group church]
And I say to you, bear witness! Watch the news. Watch the news. AIDS! Floods! The blood of the innocent, spilled! And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God. Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! And yet, some still doubt this is the work of the Antichrist! You do not have to be a Jew, a ****, a whore or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter...
[remotely watching]
Charming sermon. Can you see Valentine anywhere?
CL Church Leader
So, my friends, although he is a just God, he is just a vengeful one and there can be no turning back from the almighty wrath...
G Gazelle
Are you sure we're out of range?
V Valentine
We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong?
G Gazelle
What if the calculations are wrong?
V Valentine
You just have to trust me.
CL Church Leader
...Jew, ****, **** lovers, and the devil is burning them for all eternity.
Harry Would you excuse me?
CB Church Blonde Woman
Where are you going? [Harry tries to leave the church] Hey! What's your problem?
Harry I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
V Valentine
Oh, shit. He's leaving. I'm starting the test now. Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards.
CL Church Leader
[continuing his sermon]
I kindly ask you to sit down, my friend!
CB Church Blonde Woman
Just leave this church! You just leave this church like the infidel you are! Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies! You will drown in the blood of the Lord! He will not save you!
[Harry, under the effects of the test, shoots the woman and everyone in the church attacks each other] [remotely watching]
Holy ****!
V Valentine
Oh, shit, I can't watch this. Get over here.
Harry [Eggsy is in Harry's home after failing Kingsman selection and stealing Arthur's car]
You throw away your biggest opportunity over a **** dog. And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss' car.
[to Hart]
You shot a dog just to get a job?!
Harry Yes. [walking into toilet where there is a stuffed dog on the mantelpiece] And Mr Pickle here reminds me of that, every time I take a shit.
You shot your dog and had it stuffed? You **** freak!
Harry No, I shot my dog, brought him home, and continued to care for him for the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis!
Harry It was a blank, Eggsy. It was a **** blank. Remember Amelia?
Harry She didn't drown. She works in our tech department in Berlin. She's fine. Limits must be tested. A Kingsman only condones the risking of one life to save another.
My dad might have saved your life, even though your ****-up cost his? What, you've got him stuffed here and all?
Harry Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him?
