Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes

126 total quotes

Ben Affleck
Brent
Brodie
Chaka Luther King
Chrissy
Cock-Knocker
Dante Hicks
Holden

Jay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black

View Quote Jay: [after tossing Brent out of the van] Now who's stupid, you dirty sheep ****er?
Brent: I would *never* **** a sheep!
[sees a sheep in a nearby field]
Brent: Hey there. How you doing?
[reaches for a condom]
Brent: I *love* animals.
[goes for the sheep]

View Quote [to Silent Bob] I said you LOVE the ****. I must be the craftiest mother****er alive.

View Quote Jay: [after trying to figure out what Silent Bob is trying to tell him] Well, come on! SAY IT already!
Silent Bob: THE SIGN! ON THE BACK OF THE CAR! IT SAID "CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD"! YOU DUMB ****!

View Quote [Silent Bob gets stuck in an open sewer pipe] Just like Winnie the Pooh.

View Quote [fighting about Jason Biggs blatant homophobia]
Jason Biggs: No. I, I love gay people.
James Van Der Beek: Yeah, I'll bet you do.
Jason Biggs: No, I'm fine with gay...
[Jason Biggs notices the Chimpanzee]
Jason Biggs: Oh, look at the monkey.
James Van Der Beek: Now you're gonna tell me the monkey's gay.
Jason Biggs: Well, how do you know he doesn't smoke monkey pole?

View Quote Don't **** with the Jedi Master, son.

View Quote Willenholly: Put the monkey down, and your hands up. Let's go, misters. Do you want to get shot? I didn't think so.
Jay: Look, man. She doesn't want to go back to the lab. And for the record, I ain't gay.
Willenholly: And for the record, while we're one the subject, I knew that wasn't a real little boy.
Jay: And for one more record, he loves the ****.

View Quote Ohhh no you don't. You're not gonna upstage me, Van Der Beek!

View Quote **** Jay and Silent Bob. **** them up their stupid asses.

View Quote Crazy crackers with guns. Its time I get my black ass out of here.

View Quote Justice: If I go to prison will you wait for me?
Jay: Hmm, I don't know. Will you **** me when you get out?
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Don't change the subject. Will you **** me when you get out?
Justice: Snoogans.
[Goes back to kissing Jay]

View Quote Steve Kmetko: Rumor is Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are working on a super secret project on the lot. Have you seen them roaming around?
Jules Asner: No, Steve. But I did see Casey Affleck buying a soda from a concession stand.

View Quote Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a ****ing drag.

View Quote Nothing. The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies.

View Quote We don't want to rub the C.L.I.T. the wrong way.