Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes

126 total quotes

Ben Affleck
Brent
Brodie
Chaka Luther King
Chrissy
Cock-Knocker
Dante Hicks
Holden

Jay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black

View Quote Jay: [after tossing Brent out of the van] Now who's stupid, you dirty sheep ****er?
Brent: I would *never* **** a sheep!
[sees a sheep in a nearby field]
Brent: Hey there. How you doing?
[reaches for a condom]
Brent: I *love* animals.
[goes for the sheep]

View Quote Don't **** with the Jedi Master, son.

View Quote Jay: [after trying to figure out what Silent Bob is trying to tell him] Well, come on! SAY IT already!
Silent Bob: THE SIGN! ON THE BACK OF THE CAR! IT SAID "CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD"! YOU DUMB ****!

View Quote [Silent Bob gets stuck in an open sewer pipe] Just like Winnie the Pooh.

View Quote **** Jay and Silent Bob. **** them up their stupid asses.

View Quote [fighting about Jason Biggs blatant homophobia]
Jason Biggs: No. I, I love gay people.
James Van Der Beek: Yeah, I'll bet you do.
Jason Biggs: No, I'm fine with gay...
[Jason Biggs notices the Chimpanzee]
Jason Biggs: Oh, look at the monkey.
James Van Der Beek: Now you're gonna tell me the monkey's gay.
Jason Biggs: Well, how do you know he doesn't smoke monkey pole?

View Quote Ohhh no you don't. You're not gonna upstage me, Van Der Beek!

View Quote Crazy crackers with guns. Its time I get my black ass out of here.

View Quote It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll... ****beans. That was them, wasn't it?

View Quote Justice: If I go to prison will you wait for me?
Jay: Hmm, I don't know. Will you **** me when you get out?
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Don't change the subject. Will you **** me when you get out?
Justice: Snoogans.
[Goes back to kissing Jay]

View Quote Nothing. The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies.

View Quote Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a ****ing drag.

View Quote Willenholly: Put the monkey down, and your hands up. Let's go, misters. Do you want to get shot? I didn't think so.
Jay: Look, man. She doesn't want to go back to the lab. And for the record, I ain't gay.
Willenholly: And for the record, while we're one the subject, I knew that wasn't a real little boy.
Jay: And for one more record, he loves the ****.

View Quote Steve Kmetko: Rumor is Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are working on a super secret project on the lot. Have you seen them roaming around?
Jules Asner: No, Steve. But I did see Casey Affleck buying a soda from a concession stand.

View Quote [Sniffing out white people] Cra-cra-cracker?