Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes
126 total quotesJay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black
View Quote
[James Van Der Beek and Jason Biggs are being arrested by mistake]
James Van Der Beek: You've got the wrong guys! Doesn't anyone watch the WB?
Jason Biggs: I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at me. I'm the pie ****er.
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: [to his buddies] Yeah, well. In prison, he'll be the pie.
James Van Der Beek: You've got the wrong guys! Doesn't anyone watch the WB?
Jason Biggs: I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at me. I'm the pie ****er.
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: [to his buddies] Yeah, well. In prison, he'll be the pie.
View Quote
The hell with this. Let's go back to the station house, and cornhole us a drunk.
View Quote
Daphne: I think they passed out.
Fred: Great. What do we do with them now?
Shaggy: Let's cut out their kidneys and sell them to the black market and leave them in a seedy motel bathtub full of ice.
Fred: Great. What do we do with them now?
Shaggy: Let's cut out their kidneys and sell them to the black market and leave them in a seedy motel bathtub full of ice.
View Quote
[the Scooby gang are arguing amongst themselves] Yo. You guys need to turn those frowns upside down. And I got just the thing for that. [pulls out a bag of rolled up joints] We call them Doobie Snax.
View Quote
Banky: Well, you're rich, you're in love
[to Jay]
Banky: Well, *you're* in love. And you've both got your own monkey. What more could two guys from New Jersey want?
Jay: Well, to have all these ****s stop talking shit about us on the Internet.
Banky: What've I been telling you? There's nothing you can do about it. Well, aside from showing up at all their houses and beating the shit out of them.
[to Jay]
Banky: Well, *you're* in love. And you've both got your own monkey. What more could two guys from New Jersey want?
Jay: Well, to have all these ****s stop talking shit about us on the Internet.
Banky: What've I been telling you? There's nothing you can do about it. Well, aside from showing up at all their houses and beating the shit out of them.
View Quote
Whillenholly: And might I add, that is one fine looking boy you are raising.
Jay: Hell yeah, that's because he's from my sperm. See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours that I **** on the side so as to not be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here is 100% ****. He LOVES the ****.
Jay: Hell yeah, that's because he's from my sperm. See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours that I **** on the side so as to not be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here is 100% ****. He LOVES the ****.
View Quote
Banky: Uh, Chaka? Hi, I'm Banky Edwards, the creator of "Bluntman and Chronic." We met a few weeks back, I'm the executive producer.
Chaka: Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackinate it. Okay, ****y?
Banky: Actually, it's Banky.
Chaka: No, it is ****y.
Chaka: Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackinate it. Okay, ****y?
Banky: Actually, it's Banky.
Chaka: No, it is ****y.
View Quote
Ben Affleck: [ready to act but haven't heard "Action"] So? Action, Gus or what?
Gus Van Sant: Christ, Ben, I said I'm busy.
Gus Van Sant: Christ, Ben, I said I'm busy.
View Quote
[after pulling a very long pube out of his teeth] Eew, man, she had '70s bush. Damn second rule in that book should be: "Trim that shit".
View Quote
Jay: So, you think I could get a little kiss for good luck?
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
Jay: ****.
[Silent Bob tries to get a good luck of his own]
Jay: Get off my Kool-Aid mother****a!
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
Jay: ****.
[Silent Bob tries to get a good luck of his own]
Jay: Get off my Kool-Aid mother****a!
View Quote
[Willenholly and the Utah police confront Jay and Silent Bob]
Sheriff: Are you ****ing crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-****ing Brady Bunch go.
Sheriff: Are you ****ing crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-****ing Brady Bunch go.
View Quote
Assistant Director(GWH 2): Okay, you two. Just stand there, and react. Don't say anything!
[Points to Silent Bob]
Assistant Director(GWH 2): Especially you.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] That's pretty funny.
[Points to Silent Bob]
Assistant Director(GWH 2): Especially you.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] That's pretty funny.
View Quote
Chaka's Production Assistant: [after asked to get a new clean latte] Here's your coffee sir, booger-free.
Chaka Luther King: [slaps it out his hands] Get that shit the **** out of here.
Chaka Luther King: [slaps it out his hands] Get that shit the **** out of here.
View Quote
Missy: Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'.
Chrissy: I'm on it.
[pulls out knife]
Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?
Chrissy: Great, he's ****ed to boot.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you ****ed.
Chrissy: I'm on it.
[pulls out knife]
Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?
Chrissy: Great, he's ****ed to boot.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you ****ed.
View Quote
I can't belive this shit. Five hours and not a single ride. Every day people hitch to Hollywood to stop studios from making films about 'em, but when you and me try it, it's like we're trapped in a ****in' cartoon. [the Mystery Machine van from the Scooby Doo cartoons pulls up alongside Jay and Silent Bob]