[Rubbing up against an African American male stripper]
I bet you got a pretty big Tootsie Roll, huh?
Male Stripper
Man, what the ****?!
Irving Zisman
Johnny Knoxville · 27 quotes
Billy
Jackson Nicoll · 12 quotes
Most scenes together: Irving Zisman & Billy (6)
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa quotes
Page 2 of 3[To a woman]
You know when I was overseas, when you used to sleep with a prostitute, they would squeeze lime juice on your schmeckle to see if you had any diseases. And if you went; "ow..." it means you got something 'cause the cuts burn. I never went; "ow...", but one time. It's all cleared up now, though. Ma'am, it's all cleared up.
Bingo Woman #1
Oh, okay.
Alright. Just to prove to you I don't have anything , ladies, I'm gonna squeeze this lime juice on my schmeckle right now.
Bingo Woman #2
Oh my god!
Okay. Watch this. Watch this. Here it goes. Here it goes! Nothing. Nothing. I got nothing. That is free advertising right there. It did sting a little when it got to my bunghole though, I'll tell you that. That's just between us girls. I'm gonna have to have that checked out.
Grandpa, I'm ****in' wasted.
I love chocolate! He's harder than a horseshoe!
I may be too old to stir the gravy but I'm still old enough to lick the spoon, that's for damn sure! [Chuckles]
I might be too old to fry the rice, but I can still chop the suey, that's for sure.
My Spanish name is El Mucho Ding-Dong.
Sir, can you help me? Can you help me, sir? I don't expect you to understand but I have my penis stuck in the soda machine!
Wow. That looks like the camel toe... in your pants! Hoo-hah! Get it? I said you have a vagina. That's a vagina reference.
You are hotter than a Puerto Rican picnic.
[About his deceased wife]
She was a pain in my ass when we were married and she passed away, she's still being a pain in my ass!
[To a fast-food outlet employee]
We need some chickens and a big side of poontang! [Laughs]