Sidney J. Mussburger Sure, sure.
2nd most-quoted character in The Hudsucker Proxy (1994): in 10 of its 44 quotes
Most scenes with: Norville Barnes (3)
Up! Up on your feet! We don't crawl here at Hudsucker Industries.
More lines from Sidney J. Mussburger
2 quotes Sidney J. Mussburger Sidney J. Mussburger Not that way, through the door!
Scenes with Sidney J. Mussburger
7 scenes Sidney J. Mussburger [Following Waring Hudsucker's suicide]
It's a pity to waste a whole Monte Cristo.
Board Member 1
He could have opened the window.
Board Member 2
Waring Hudsucker never did anything the easy way.
Myron Addison
Yeah, but why? Why did he do it? Everything was going so well.
Sidney J. Mussburger What am I, a head shriker. Maybe the man was unhappy?
Myron Addison
He didn't look unhappy.
Board Member 4
He didn't look rich.
Board Member 5
Waring Hudsucker was never an easy man to figure out. He built this company with his bare hands, every step he took was a step up, except of course this last one.
Sidney J. Mussburger Sure, sure he was a swell fella, but when the president, chairman of the board and owner of 87% of the company stock drops 44 floors...
Board Member 6
45.
Board Member 7
Counting the mezzanine.
Sidney J. Mussburger Then the company too has a problem. Stillson, what exactly is the disposition of Waring's stock.
Stillson
Well as you know, Hud left no will and had no family. The company bylaws are quite clear in that event. His entire portfolio will be converted into common stock and be sold over the counter as of the first of the fiscal year following his demise.
Sidney J. Mussburger Meaning?
Stillson
Well, meaning simply that Waring's stock, and control of the company, will be made available to the public January 1st.
Sidney J. Mussburger Do you mean to say that any slob in a smelly T-shirt will be able to buy Hudsucker stock?
Stillson
The company bylaws are quite clear.
Myron Addison
My God, you're animals. How can you discuss his stock when the man has just leapt 45 floors?
Board Member 6
44.
Board Member 7
Not counting the mezzanine.
Sidney J. Mussburger Quit showboating, Addison, the man is gone. The question now is whether we're going to let John Q. Public just waltz in here and buy our company.
Board Member 4
What are you suggesting Sidney? Certainly we can't afford to buy an controlling interest.
Sidney J. Mussburger Not while the stock is this strong. How soon before Hud's paper hits the market?
Board Member 8
January 1st.
Board Member 2
30 days.
Board Member 4
4 weeks.
Board Member 5
A month at the most!
Sidney J. Mussburger One month. To make the blue chip investment of the century look like a round trip ticket on the Titanic.
Board Member 7
We play up the fact that Hud is dead.
All
Long live Hud!
Board Member 4
We depress the stock...
Board Member 5
To the point where we can buy 50%.
Board Member 6
51.
Board Member 7
Not counting the mezzanine.
Board Member 5
It could work!
Board Member 3
It should work!
Board Member 4
It would work!
Sidney J. Mussburger It's working already. Waring Hudsucker is abstract art on Madison Avenue. What we need now is a new president who will inspire panic in the stockholder.
Board Member 6
A puppet.
Board Member 5
A proxy.
Board Member 2
A pawn.
Sidney J. Mussburger Sure, sure. Some jerk we can really push around.
Sidney J. Mussburger This better be good. I'm in a bad mood.
Well, sir. I've got something for you from the mailroom, but first if I could just take a minute or so from your very valuable time to show you a little something I've been working on for the last two or three years. [Shows him the drawing of the circle, but sees that it's upside down and flips it over]. You know, for kids! Which is perfect for Hudsucker not that I claim to be any great genius; like they say, inspiration is ninty-nine percent perspiration, and in my case I'd say it's at least twice that, but I gotta tell ya, Mr. Mussburger, sir, this sweet baby...
Sidney J. Mussburger Wait a minute!
Sidney J. Mussburger Let's get to know one another, shall we? Let's chat man to man. Now your from the basement, aren't you? And weren't blessed with much education?
Well, I am college graduate.
Sidney J. Mussburger But you didn't excel in your studies?
Well, I made the Dean's List.
Sidney J. Mussburger Oh.
At the Muncie College of Business Administration.
Sidney J. Mussburger Oh. And your friends called you "jerk" didn't they?
No.
Sidney J. Mussburger Dope? Dipstick? Lamebrain? Schmoe? Not even behind you back?
No, actually they voted me most likely to succeed!
Sidney J. Mussburger Your fired.
Luigi
Mr. Moose-burger, I give-a you pants a nice-a dooble stitch, eh? Make 'em strong, and they look-a real sharp.
Sidney J. Mussburger No! Single stitch is fine.
Luigi
But the double stitch will last forever.
Sidney J. Mussburger Why on earth would I need a double stitch? To pad your account? Single stitch is fine.
[Cut to Later] '
Luigi
Ah, what the heck. Mr. Moose-burger is such a nice-a man, I give him double stitch anyway. That's some strong stitch, you bet.
[to Norville entering the elevator]
Say, buddy! Where'd ya get the new duds? And say, buddy! How'd old bucketbutt like his Blue Letter? [laughs] Did he bust a gut? Did he die? Did he - [Mussburger enters the elevator] Well, hello, Mr. Mussburger, sir...
Sidney J. Mussburger Lobby. We haven't got all day.
Right away, Mr. Mussburger sir. How're you this fine morning, sir?
[The elevator doors open in the lobby]
It's been a pleasure serving you, Mr. Mussburger. And it's been a pleasure serving you too, uh... buddy.
Sidney J. Mussburger And this is Thorstensen Finlandsen, who heads a radical splinter group of disgruntled investors.
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Finlandsen. You know, I studied a little Finnish back in collage myself. Let's see what was that.[says something offensive in Finnish]]
[Finlandsen throws his drink on Norville and punches him]
Sidney J. Mussburger Sure, sure, the kid's screwy. It's official. The barred-window boys are out looking for him now, and we'll see how Wall Street likes the news that the President of Hudsucker Industries is headed for the booby-hatch. Why, when the doc gets through with him he'll need diapers and a dribble cup. Well, if that's all...
All Board Members
Long live the Hud!
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