[screams and lands in his chair]
AAAAAAAH! The nerve of those Whos; Inviting me down there... on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it! [opens his schedule] "4 o'clock; wallow in self-pity. 4:30; stare into the abyss. 5 o'clock; solve world hunger." Tell no one. "5:30; jazzercise. 6:30; dinner with me." I can't cancel that again. "7 o'clock; wrestle with myself loathing"... I'm booked! Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9:00, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. [beat] But what would I wear? [goes to kitchen, and accidentally, yet perfectly, does the tablecloth trick without disturbing the items, but returns and knocks the stuff off of the table; poses in the mirror as Max barks] It's not a dress, it's a kilt! [rips off tablecloth] Sicko! [rummaging through clothes] Stupid! Ugly! Out of date! This is ridiculous! If I can't find something nice to wear, I'm not going! [hears a yodeler and mugs him for his lederhosen] Ohh. Ahh. Mmm. That's it, I'm not going.
[Back in Whoville]
Well, it's time for our Holiday Cheermeister of the Year Award! [chuckles; everyone cheers] Congratulations, Mr. Grinch! [turns out the Grinch is not in the Whobilation] He isn't here. What? He didn't show? Who could've predicted this?
[after standing grumpily with his arms crossed]
Alright. I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me, grab a handful of popcorn shrimp and blow outta here. [heads for the door, then stops abruptly and returns nervously] But what if it's a cruel prank, what if it's a cash bar? How dare they? [scowls, then calms down] Alright, I'll go, but I'll be fashionably late. No, yes, no, yes, no. Yes! Drrrgh! Definitely not. [heading for the door with his hand behind his back] All right, I've made my decision! I'm going, and that's that! [shows his crossed fingers on his hand] Ah, had my fingers crossed. Whaaaaa! [Max pulls the rope, sending the Grinch falling through the garbage chute towards Whoville] MAYBE I SHOULD FLIP A COIN! [screams as the picture spins rapidly from him and stops to Cindy-Lou Who]
Well, I, I guess the award goes to the, the runner-up.
That's right. A man for whom Christmas comes, not once a year, but every minute of every day. A handsome, noble man. A man who's had his tonsils removed twice.
