Dwalin [The doorbell rings; Bilbo goes to answer it and finds a dwarf.] [Bows]
Dwalin, at your service.
Uh, Bilbo...Baggins. At yours. [Dwalin walks in] Do we know each other?
Dwalin No. Which way, laddie? Is it down here?
Dwalin Supper. He said there'd be food and lots of it.
Dwalin [Dwalin proceeds to the kitchen and eats Bilbo's dinner]
Very good, this. Any more?
What? Oh, uh, yes, yes. [finds a jar of seed-cakes] Help yourself. [pauses as Dwalin eats away] It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company.
Dwalin [The doorbell rings]
That'll be the door.
[Bilbo opens the door, the dwarf smiles and bows]
Balin, At your service.
Yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later. Am I late?
[catches Dwalin trying to get more scones out of another jar]
OH! Evening, brother!
Dwalin [sets down the jar and smiles]
Ho ho, by my beard! You are shorter and wider than last we met.
Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us.
[Dwalin and Balin laugh and butt heads. They proceed to raid Bilbo's pantry while talking with each other]
Excuse me? Sorry, I hate to interrupt, but the thing is I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house. It's not that I don't like visitors. I-I like visitors as much as the next hobbit, but I do like to know them before they come visiting. The thing is...uh...the thing is, I don't know either of you, not in the slightest. I don't mean to be blunt, but I had to speak my mind. I'm sorry.
[suddenly noticing that Bilbo was talking]
Apology accepted. [smiles, to Bilbo's growing confusion]
FL Fíli
[Bilbo opens the door]
Fíli.
KL Kíli
And Kíli.
Fíli and Kíli: [bowing] At your service.
KL Kíli
You must be Mr. Boggins!
Nope! You can't come in; you've come to the wrong house.
KL Kíli
[Bilbo tries to shut the door, but Kíli pushes it open] [deflated]
What? Has it been cancelled?
Ca-? No, nothing's been cancelled.
KL Kíli
[smiles]
That's a relief!
FL Fíli
[They walk in as if they had been expected.]
Careful with these. I just had 'em sharpened. [tosses Bilbo their blades]
KL Kíli
It's nice, this place. You do it yourself?
Well, no, it's been in the family for years- [Sees Kíli rubbing his shoes on the furniture] That's my mother's glory box! Could you please not do that?
Dwalin Fíli, Kíli, come on. Give us a hand.
KL Kíli
[smiling at the sight of Dwalin]
Mr. Dwalin.
[Dwalin leads Fíli and Kíli into the dining room.] [about the table]
Let's shove this in the hallway. Otherwise, we'll never get everyone in.
[surprised]
He-- "Everyone"? How many more are there? [doorbell rings again, Bilbo is getting rather cross as he heads for the door.] Oh no. No, no. [louder, tossing the knives to the floor] There's nobody home! Go away and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is! I-i-if this is some... clot-head's idea of a joke... [chuckles sarcastically] ...I can only say. It is in very poor taste! [opens the door and eight dwarves (Dori, Nori, Ori, Óin, Glóin, Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur) fall down on top of each other. Gandalf stands behind looking at Bilbo.] [with an irritated look on his face] Gandalf.
[Gandalf and the dwarfs are making their escape through the goblin tunnels but they are stopped by the Great Goblin and surrounded by goblins as well]
You thought you could escape me! [swings his club at Gandalf that pushes him back] What are you gonna do now, wizard?
[Gandalf pokes the Great Goblin's eye with his staff. Gandalf uses Glamdring to slice the Great Goblin's belly. He falls to his knees and looks at Gandalf]
That'll do it.
[Gandalf uses Glamdring to split the Great Goblin's throat. He dies and falls on the bridge. The bridge breaks underneath and the dwarfs and Gandalf fall down deep in the cavern below, they all survived as they landed safely on the ground]
Well, that could have been worse. [the dead body of the Great Goblin lands on top of them]
Dwalin You've got to be joking!
What happened to him? Tell me!
I'll tell you what happened! Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it. He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing our hobbit again; he's long gone.
[emerges from hiding]
No, he isn't.
[the company looks relieved]
Bilbo Baggins! I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life!
K Kili
Bilbo! We'd given you up!
F Fili
How on earth did you get past the goblins?
Dwalin How indeed?
[Gandalf sees Bilbo slip the Ring into his pocket, unnoticed by the others.]
Well, what does it matter? He's back.
It matters. I want to know, why did you come back?
Look, I know you doubt me. I know- I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag-End. I miss my books. And my armchair, and my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back. Because... you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.
