[Bilbo sees Bombur walk from the pantry holding several cheese wheels]
A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?
Bofur "Cheese knife?" He eats it by the block.
Played by James Nesbitt 
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) · 54 quotes
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) · 54 quotes
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012): in 6 of its 54 quotes
Most scenes with: Bilbo Baggins (4), Gandalf the Grey (2), Thorin Oakenshield (2)
Scenes with Bofur
6 scenes Bofur Bofur But it's full of holes!
It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet.
Bofur Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it. [laughs]
My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?
What's the matter? I am surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here?
Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them.
I don't want to get used to them! The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet! They pillaged the pantry. I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing! I don't understand what they're doing in my house! [Ori walks up]
Ori
'Scuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?
Fíli
Here you go, Ori, give it to me. [Fíli takes the plate and tosses it to Kíli, who throws it across the hall; Bifur catches it, while not looking]
[mortified]
Excuse me! That's my mother's West Farthing pottery, it's over 100 years old! [to the other dwarves clashing the cutlery together] And can you not do that? You'll blunt them!
Bofur Oh, did you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!
Kíli
[singing]
Blunt the knives, bend the forks!
Fíli
[singing]
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Dwarves
[singing]
Chip the glasses and crack the plates...That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!Cut the cloth, tread on the fat!Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!Pour the milk on the pantry floor!Splash the wine on every door!Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl!Pound them up with a thumping pole!And when you're finished, if they are whole...Send them down the hall to roll!That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
It's just the usual; summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.
"Funeral arrangements"? [reads contract] Oh...
Understood.
Nor will I be responsible for his fate.
Uh, "Terms: cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth total profit, if any." Seems fair... Uh, "Present Company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by, or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...la-ce-ra-tions..." "Evisceration"?... "Incineration"?
Bofur Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.
Huh? Yeah, I'm okay. [trying to take it in] Feeling a bit faint.
Bofur [not noticing]
Think "furnace with wings."
Yeah, I... I... I need air.
Bofur Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash.
What are you doing in these parts?
Oin
[the dwarves remain silent]
Don't worry, lads. I'll handle this.
No tricks! I want the truth! Warts and all.
Oin
You're going to have to speak up. Your boys have flattened my trumpet.
Great Goblin [angry, heading towards them] I'll flatten more than your trumpet!
Bofur [steps forward]
It's more information you want, I'm the one you should speak to! [Great Goblin looks at Bofur] We were on the road. Well, it's not so much of a road as path. Actually, it's not even that come to think of it- it's more like a track. Anyway, the point is we were on this road, like a path, like a track, and then we weren't. Which is a problem, because we were supposed to be in Dunland last Tuesday.
Dori
Visiting distant relations.
Bofur Some inbreds on me mother's side.
[enraged]
Shut UP!!! If they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone-Breaker! [points at Ori] Start with the youngest!
WAIT! [steps forward]
Well, well, well! Look who it is. Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thrór! King Under the Mountain. [bows mockingly] Oh! But I'm forgetting, you don't have a mountain, and you're not a king. Which makes you... nobody, really. I know someone who will pay a pretty price for your head. Just a head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak. An old enemy of yours. A Pale Orc astride a White Warg.
Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago!
So you think his defiling days are done, do you? [chuckles, then turns to his scribe] Send word to the Pale Orc. Tell him I have found his prize.
[Gandalf and the dwarfs are making their escape through the goblin tunnels but they are stopped by the Great Goblin and surrounded by goblins as well]
You thought you could escape me! [swings his club at Gandalf that pushes him back] What are you gonna do now, wizard?
[Gandalf pokes the Great Goblin's eye with his staff. Gandalf uses Glamdring to slice the Great Goblin's belly. He falls to his knees and looks at Gandalf]
That'll do it.
Bofur [Gandalf uses Glamdring to split the Great Goblin's throat. He dies and falls on the bridge. The bridge breaks underneath and the dwarfs and Gandalf fall down deep in the cavern below, they all survived as they landed safely on the ground]
Well, that could have been worse. [the dead body of the Great Goblin lands on top of them]
You've got to be joking!
