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Balin: It's just the usual; summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.
Bilbo: "Funeral arrangements"? [reads contract] Oh...
Thorin: [whispering to Gandalf] I cannot guarantee his safety.
Gandalf: Understood.
Thorin: Nor will I be responsible for his fate.
Gandalf: [hesitates] Agreed.
Bilbo: Uh, "Terms: cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth total profit, if any." Seems fair... Uh, "Present Company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by, or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...la-ce-ra-tions..." "Evisceration"?... "Incineration"?
Bofur: Oh, aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.
[Bilbo starts to look shaky]
Balin: You all right, laddie?
Bilbo: Huh? Yeah, I'm okay. [trying to take it in] Feeling a bit faint.
Bofur: [not noticing] Think "furnace with wings."
Bilbo: Yeah, I... I... I need air.
Bofur: Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash.
[beat]
Bilbo: ...Nope. [faints]
Gandalf: [sarcastic] Oh, very helpful, Bofur.


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