2nd most-quoted character in The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014): in 9 of its 24 quotes
Most scenes with: M. Gustave (8)
Scenes with Zero
9 scenes
Zero What happened?
What happened, my dear Zero, is I beat the living shit out of a sniveling little runt called Pinky Bandinski, who had the gall to question my virility. Because, if there's one thing we've learned from penny dreadfuls, it's that when you find yourself in a place like this, you must never be a candy ass; you've got to prove yourself from day one. You've got to win their respect. You should take a long look at HIS ugly mug this morning. [Takes a sip of water and laughs] He's actually become a dear friend. You'll meet him, I hope.
It's quite a thing, winning the loyalty of a woman like that for nineteen consecutive seasons.
Zero Um... yes, sir.
She's very fond of me, you know.
Zero Yes, sir.
I've never seen her like that before.
Zero No, sir.
She was shaking like a shitting dog.
Zero ...Truly.
Serge X, missing. Deputy Kovacs, also missing. Madame D, dead. Boy with Apple, stolen (by us). Dmitri and Jopling, ruthless, cold-blooded savages. Gustave H, at large. What else?
Zero Zero, confused.
Zero, confused, indeed. The plot "thickens" as they say. Why, by the way? Is it a soup metaphor?
Zero I don't know.
I'm not angry with Serge; you can't blame someone for their basic lack of moral fiber. He's a frightened little yellow-bellied coward. It's not his fault, is it?
Zero I don't know, it depends.
Well, you can say that about most anything, "it depends". Of course it depends.
Zero Of course it depends, of course it depends.
Yes, I suppose you're right; of course it depends. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to throttle the little swamp rat.
[after seeing police at reception]
Have you ever been questioned by the authorities?
Zero Yes, on one occasion, I was arrested and tortured by the rebel militia after the Desert Uprising.
You know the drill, then, zip it.
Zero Of course.
You've never hears the word "van Hoytl" in your life. Okay, let's go.
[they go down to the reception]
How may we serve you, gentlemen? Ah, Inspector Henckels!
H Henckels
By order of the commissioner of police, Zubrowka Province, I hereby place you under arrest for the murder of Madame Celine Villenueve Desgoffe-und-Taxis.
I knew there was something fishy. We never got the cause of death. She's been murdered, and you think I did it. [runs away]
H Henckels
[as he and his men chase Gustave]
HEY! STOP!
[Of Mme. Celine]
She was dynamite in the sack, by the way.
Zero ...She was 84, Monsieur Gustave.
Mmm, I've had older. When you're young, it's all filet steak, but as the years go by, you have to move on to the cheap cuts. Which is fine with me, because I like those. More flavorful, or so they say.
Zero [Reading a letter from M. Gustave]
"My dear and trusted colleagues..."
I miss you deeply as I write from the confines of my regrettable and preposterous incarceration. Until I walk amongst you again as a free man, the Grand Budapest remains in your hands, as does its impeccable reputation. Keep it spotless, and glorify it. Take extra-special care of every little bitty bit of it as if I were watching over you like a hawk with a horse-whip in its talons, because I am. Should I discover a lapse of any variety during my absence, I promise swift and merciless justice will descend upon you. A great and noble house has been placed under your protection. Tell Zero if you see any funny business.
Zero [Finishing the letter]
"Your devoted Monsieur Gustave."
A The Author
Is it simply your last connection to that vanished world—his world, if you will?
Zero His world? No, I don't think so. You see, we shared a vocation; it wouldn't have been necessary. No, the hotel I keep for Agatha. We were happy here, for a little while. To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I will say, he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace.
The beginning of the end of the end of the beginning has begun. A sad finale played, off-key, on a broken-down saloon piano in the outskirts of a forgotten ghost town. I’d rather not bear witness to such blasphemy.
Zero Me, neither.
The Grand Budapest has become a troop’s barracks. I shall never cross its threshold again in my lifetime.
Zero Me, neither.
Zero [pointing at Dmitri]
Actually, I think we might be going in right now, after all.
Other characters in The Grand Budapest Hotel
