Mr Moustafa When the destiny of a great fortune is at stake, men's greed spreads like a poison in the bloodstream. Uncles, nephews, cousins, in-laws of increasingly tenuous connection. The old woman's distant relations had come foraging out of the woodwork.
The Author A week later, I sailed for a cure in South America, and began a long, wandering journey abroad. I did not return to Europe for many years. It was an enchanting old ruin... [his voice turns into that of his older self] ...but I never managed to see it again.
The beginning of the end of the end of the beginning has begun. A sad finale played, off-key, on a broken-down saloon piano in the outskirts of a forgotten ghost town. I’d rather not bear witness to such blasphemy.
Me, neither.
The Grand Budapest has become a troop’s barracks. I shall never cross its threshold again in my lifetime.
Me, neither.
Never again shall...
Author It is an extremely common mistake. People think the writer's imagination is always at work, that he's constantly inventing an endless supply of incidents and episodes; that he simply dreams up his stories out of thin air. In point of fact, the opposite is true. Once the public knows you're a writer, they bring the characters and events to you. And as long as you maintain your ability to look, and to carefully listen, these stories will continue to...
Author Stop it! Stop it! Don't! Don't do it!... Uh, will continue to seek you out, uh, over your lifetime. To him, who has often told the tales of others, many tales will be told.
Author's Grandson Sorry.
Author It's all right. The incidents that follow were described to me exactly as I present them here, and in a wholly unexpected way.
This criminal has plagued my family for nearly 20 years. He's a ruthless adventurer and a con artist who preys on mentally feeble, sick old ladies! And he probably ****s them, too!
I go to bed with all my friends.
[Dmitri punches M. Gustave, Zero punches Dmitri, Jopling punches Zero]
If I learn you ever once laid a finger on my mother's body, living or dead, I swear to God, I'll cut your throat! You hear me?
I thought I was supposed to be a **** ****.
You are, but you're bisexual.
Where's Boy with Apple?!
Henckels Who's shooting who?
That's Gustave H., the escaped murderer and art thief! I've got him cornered!
That's Dmitri Desgoffe und Taxis! He's responsible for the killing of Deputy Kovacs, Serge X and his club-footed sister, plus his own mother!
Henckels Nobody move; everybody's under arrest.
Jopling I've got to hand it to them. I didn't see that coming. Well, what do you want me to do?
Jopling I've never trusted that butler. He's too honest.
Jopling Mm-hm.
All right, well, be that as it may, find him quick and make it snappy.
Yes, on one occasion, I was arrested and tortured by the rebel militia after the Desert Uprising.
You know the drill, then, zip it.
Of course.
You've never hears the word "van Hoytl" in your life. Okay, let's go.
Henckels By order of the commissioner of police, Zubrowka Province, I hereby place you under arrest for the murder of Madame Celine Villenueve Desgoffe-und-Taxis.
I knew there was something fishy. We never got the cause of death. She's been murdered, and you think I did it. [runs away]
Henckels HEY! STOP!
...She was 84, Monsieur Gustave.
Mmm, I've had older. When you're young, it's all filet steak, but as the years go by, you have to move on to the cheap cuts. Which is fine with me, because I like those. More flavorful, or so they say.
I'm not angry with Serge; you can't blame someone for their basic lack of moral fiber. He's a frightened little yellow-bellied coward. It's not his fault, is it?
I don't know, it depends.
Well, you can say that about most anything, "it depends". Of course it depends.
Of course it depends, of course it depends.
Yes, I suppose you're right; of course it depends. However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to throttle the little swamp rat.
It's quite a thing, winning the loyalty of a woman like that for nineteen consecutive seasons.
Um... yes, sir.
She's very fond of me, you know.
Yes, sir.
I've never seen her like that before.
No, sir.
She was shaking like a shitting dog.
...Truly.
Serge X, missing. Deputy Kovacs, also missing. Madame D, dead. Boy with Apple, stolen (by us). Dmitri and Jopling, ruthless, cold-blooded savages. Gustave H, at large. What else?
Zero, confused.
Zero, confused, indeed. The plot "thickens" as they say. Why, by the way? Is it a soup metaphor?
I don't know.
