He thinks that's funny. He thinks that's a funny thing he's doing.
Jimmy
Ted, I think... I think when we get to town, I should call Betty.
Jimbo, calling Betty is definitely a dumb thing to do. Look, first rule of love: never get rejected by the same girl twice, I mean that's useless. If you want to make a fool out of yourself, always do it with someone new.
Jimmy
I don't know anyone new.
Well, love is a great way to meet them.
You broke up with "B.J. Betty"?
Jimmy
So to speak. And would you lay off her? She's alright!
I'll say she's alright. That girl wanted to be treated right! You should have treated her right!
Jimmy
I did! I treated her right! I treated her right, that's what's driving me so crazy. I mean first she would tell me to call because she had something else she needed to do. Then she wouldn't even take my calls! I mean, can you figure that? What the hell happened?
Let me put this into the old computer.
Jimmy
No, Ted, I'm serious about this.
Hey, the computer didn't lie. [Imitates using a computer, pauses, then smiles]
Jimmy
What?
It says... it says you're dead.
Jimmy
What? Dead?
Lousy, you know. [limps his wrist] A moron.
Jimmy
Oh! Don't hold back on me, Doc, give it to me straight!
I did not say it; the computer did!
Jimmy
Yeah, well there is no computer!
Aha! And there's no Betty, either.
Jimmy
And I'm dead?
Like I said, the computer don't lie.
Jimmy
Man, I'm beat...
