Flushed Away (2006) · 66 quotes
He's gonna steal your boat.
Rita
He won't steal my boat.
He's stealing your boat.
Rita
He isn't stealing...
He stole your boat.
Rita
What?
He's like Robin Hood in reverse.
Rita
Tell me about yourself, Roddy.
Roddy
Well, there's not much to tell.
Rita
You know everything about me, warts and all. I don't even know what you do.
Roddy
I'm... I'm in a boy band.
Rita
What?
Roddy
Yeah. Yeah, I'm the posh one.
Roddy
Will you please tell these people I'm not involved in this?
Rita
Fine. All right, all right, listen up. This gentleman, he's not from around here.
Roddy
Thank you.
Rita
Just look how nicely he's dressed.
Roddy
Ah, thank you.
Rita
And why? Because he's an international jewel thief!
Roddy
Precisely... What? No! No, no! No! No! Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! No!
Rita
What are you, some kind of rat boomerang?! Give me back my ruby!
Roddy
I haven't got your ruby! [the ruby falls on Roddy's hand, Rita gasps] Okay. Well, now I've got your ruby. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Rita
Please be careful! That ruby means a lot to me. It's priceless!
Roddy
Hold on... [looks at the ruby] It's a fake.
Rita
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! No, it's blooming not. It's real!
Roddy
No, no, no, look. It's..it’s..it's just glass. It's fake.
Rita
It's real! No, it's not!
Roddy
Fake.
Rita
Real!
Roddy
Fake.
Rita
Real!
Roddy
Fake. [short pause 2]
Rita
Real!
Roddy
Fake.
Rita
Real!
Roddy
Fake.
Rita
Real!
Roddy
Fake.
Rita
Real!
Roddy
Fake.
Rita
Real!
Roddy
Fake.
Rita
Real!
Roddy
Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look. You can tell. Watch this. [breaks the ruby; Rita gasps in shock, as they watch the ruby pieces sink in the water] There, you see? I mean, you can't break a real ruby. [Rita growls furiously as she looks at him] Ah, right. I probably should've done that, but look on the bright side, I saved your neck. I mean, once the Toad knows it's worthless, he'll stop chasing you for it. Roddy St. James saves the day! [Rita punches him, and he tumbles into the bottom of the boat]
Toad
Prepare to meet your maker, your ice maker. [cackles sinisterly]
Whitey
Makes me laugh every time.
Toad
Oh, shut that door.
Roddy
Liquid nitrogen? That will freeze us instantly!
Rita
There's a paper clip in my back pocket. See if you can get it. [cries out in shock, then looks at Roddy, annoyed with gritted teeth] In the pocket, in the pocket!
Spike
Blimey, it's cold.
Whitey
That's why I wore me mittens.
Spike
Huh? Hitmen don't wear mittens! Take them off! You're embarrassing me!
Whitey
Well, it's all right for you. You've got little hands.
Roddy
Got it!
Whitey
They don't get as cold.
Spike
I ain't got little hands!
Whitey
Yeah, you have. You've got lady hands.
Spike
Well, they might be small, but they're lethal weapons, these!
Whitey
You've got your mother hands.
Roddy
Look, I really want to help out more around here, huh? Just give me a job. Anything, um... Engineer and navigator. I could drive for a bit if you like?
Rita
Hmmmph!
Roddy
Whoaaaaa! Waaaaah!
Rita
HOLD ON, RODDY!!!
Spike
GET THAT CABLE, LADS!!!
Roddy
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Rita
You're a hero, Roddy.
Le Frog
Pfft. Big deal. [Roddy lets him go and gets tongue-tied up with The Toad]
Toad
You wretched vermin! I'll make you pay for this!
Le Frog
Aw, give it a rest, cousin...and get your kids a puppy.
Roddy
Rita, I was wondering if… you do build a Jammy Dodger Mark II… you wouldn't happen to need a first mate, would you?
