Gonzo quotes from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Let's give that boy a ride!

Duke

What? No! We can't stop here! This is bat country!

Duke

There's one thing you should probably understand. CAN YOU HEAR ME? GOOD! I want you to have all the background. [gets in the backseat] This is a very ominous assignment - with overtones of extreme personal danger. I'm a Doctor of Journalism, man! This is important, goddamnit! This is a true story!...

DON'T TOUCH MY **** NECK!

Our vibrations were getting nasty. But why? Was there no communication in this car? Had we deteriorated to the level of dumb beasts?

Duke

I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But doesn't matter though, does it? Are you prejudiced?

Hell no.

Duke

I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is extremely valuable to me. Oh shit! I forgot about the beer! You want some?

No.

Duke

How 'bout some ether?

What?

Duke

Nevermind. Alright, let's get right to the heart of this thing.

Did you see what GOD just did to us man!

Duke

God didn't do that, you did! You're a **** narcotics agent, I knew it. That was our cocaine you **** pig, scum [swats at him with fly swatter] Pig, swine, whore!

Better be careful. Plenty of vultures out here, they'll pick your bones clean by morning.

Duke

You **** whore...

He he heeee, here's your half of the sunshine acid. Eat it.

Duke

Yeah, all right sure. How long do I have?

As your attorney I advise you to drive at top speed and it'll be a Goddamn miracle if we get there before you turn into some kind of wild animal. Are you ready for that? Checking into a Las Vegas hotel under a phony name with the intent to commit capital fraud on a head full of acid? I sure hope so...

We won't make the nut unless we have unlimited credit.

Duke

Jesus Christ, we will, man. You Samoans are all the same. You have no faith in the essential decency of the white man's culture.

AHH! Medicine, medicine!

Duke

Huh? Oh, medicine! Watch out, this man has a bad heart, angina pectoris, but don't worry we have a cure. (cracks open an amyl) Ok, big wiff, big wiff, sunny boy! [Gonzo inhales the amyl] Much better...

Duke

Ahh, now for the doctor [he inhales the amyl]... eeeeeeeee... Ahh!
[Pause] Gonzo : What the-? What the **** are we doin out here in the middle of the desert? Somebody call the police, we need help, we need help, we need help [Slams the horn] Ah ha, ah ha, ah haha!

The easiest way to do this is for each of us to try to imagine what is going on inside the possessed mind of a drug addict. [holds up a joint] The dope fiend refers to the butt of a marijuana cigarette as a "roach". He does so because it resembles a cockroach.

What the **** these people are talking about? You gotta be crazy on acid to think a joint looks like a goddamn cockroach.

You will notice that I have distinguished four distinct types of being in the cannabis and marijuana society. They are "cool", "groovy", "hip" and "square". Seldom, if ever, does one aspire to be "square".

This is a **** nightmare, man.

If he can figure out what is "happening", he can rise one notch to become "hip", and if he can convince himself to approve of what is "happening", he can become "groovy". [ominously] Groovy! And then he raise himself to the rank of "cool". He can become one of those... "cool guys".

Dr. Bumquist, do you think the anthropologist Margaret Mead's strange behavior of late can be explained by a private marijuana addiction?

Duke

Good question!

I'm not really sure I can answer that. But what I can tell you is that if Margaret Mead, at her age, smoked grass...she'd have one hell of a trip! [laughs hysterically; the seated DA's follow suit]