Grimsrud quotes from Fargo (1996)

Jerry

I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.

Carl

You're Jerry Lundegaard?

Jerry

Yah, Shep Proudfoot said--

Carl

Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?

Jerry

Shep said 8:30.

Carl

We been sitting here an hour. He's peed three times already.

Jerry

I'm terribly sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.

Carl

You got the car?

Jerry

Yeah, you bet. It's in the lot there. Brand-new burnt umber Ciera.

Carl

Yeah, okay. Well, sit down then. I'm Carl Showalter and this is my associate Gaear Grimsrud.

Jerry

Yeah, how ya doin'? So, we all set on this thing, then?

Carl

Sure, Jerry, we're all set. Why wouldn't we be?

Jerry

Yeah, no, I'm sure you are. Shep vouched for you and all. I got every confidence in you fellas. So I guess that's it, then. Here are the keys--

Carl

No, that's not it, Jerry.

Jerry

Huh?

Carl

The new vehicle, plus forty thousand dollars.

Jerry

Yeah, but the deal was, the car first, see, then the forty thousand, like as if it was the ransom. I thought Shep told ya--

Carl

Shep didn't tell us much, Jerry.

Jerry

Well, okay--

Carl

Except that you were gonna be here at 7:30.

Jerry

Yeah, well, that was a mix-up, then.

Carl

Yeah, you already said that.

Jerry

Yeah. But it's not a whole pay-in-advance deal. I give you a brand-new vehicle in advance and--

Carl

I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.

Jerry

Okay.

Carl

I'm not gonna sit here and debate. I will say this though: what Shep told us didn't make a whole lot of sense.

Jerry

Oh, no, it's real sound. It's all worked out.

Carl

You want your own wife kidnapped?

Jerry

Yeah.

Carl

You--my point is, you pay the ransom what eighty thousand bucks? I mean, you give us half the ransom, forty thousand, you keep half. It's like robbing Peter to play Paul, it doesn't make any sense.

Jerry

Okay, see, it's not me payin' the ransom. The thing is, my wife, she's wealthy. Her dad, he's real well off. Now, I'm in a bit of trouble--

Carl

What kind of trouble are you in, Jerry?

Jerry

Well, that's, that's, I'm not go into, into--see, I just need money. Now, her dad's real wealthy--

Carl

So why don't you just ask him for the money?

Grimsrud

Or your **** wife, you know.

Carl

Or your **** wife, Jerry.

Jerry

Well, it's all just part of this--They don't know I need it, see. Okay, so there's that. And even if they did, I wouldn't get it. So there's that on top, then. See, these're personal matters.

Carl

Personal matters?

Jerry

Yeah. Personal matters that needn't, uh--

Carl

Okay, Jerry. You're tasking us to perform this mission, but you, you won't, uh, you won't. Aw, **** it, let's take a look at that Ciera.

Grimsrud

Where is Pancakes House?

Carl

What?

Grimsrud

We stop at Pancakes House.

Carl

What are ya, nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. I want to go somewhere I can get a shot and a beer, and a steak, maybe. No more ****in' pancakes, C'mon, man. C'mon, man! Okay, here's an idea. We'll stop outside of Brainerd. I know a place there we can get laid. What do ya think?

Grimsrud

I'm ****in' hungry now, you know!

Carl

Yeah, yeah. Jesus. I was just saying we could stop, get pancakes, and get laid.

Carl

Hey, look at that. Twin Cities. That's the IDS Building, the big glass one. Tallest skyscraper in the Midwest - after the uh, Sears, in, uh, Chicago, or John Hancock Building, whatever. You ever been to Minneapolis?

Grimsrud

Nope.

Carl

Would it kill you to say something?

Grimsrud

I did.

Carl

"No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a, that's a fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser. I mean, whoa, daddy, stand back, man. Shit. You know I'm sittin' here drivin', doin' all the drivin', man, the whole ****in' way from Brainerd, drivin', just tryin' to chat, you know, keep our spirits up, fight the boredom of the road, and you can't say one ****in' thing just in the way of conversation? Well, **** it. I don't have to talk either, man. See how you like it. [Pause] Just total ****in' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

Grimsrud

Shut the **** up or I'll throw you back in the trunk, you know.

Carl

Geez. That's more than I've heard you say all week.

Carl

Whoa! Whoa, daddy.

Grimsrud

You'll take care of it. You are smooth, smooth, you know. Just clean him of the road.

Carl

You should see the other guy. [He sees Jean slumped to the floor, dead] The **** happened to her?

Grimsrud

She started shrieking, ya know.

Carl

Jesus. Oh. Well, I got the money. All of it. All eighty grand. Forty for you, forty for me. That's it, then. Here are the keys to my truck. I'm takin' the Sierra.

Grimsrud

We split that.

Carl

How the **** do ya split a ****in' car, ya dummy? With a ****in' chainsaw?

Grimsrud

One of us pays the other for half.

Carl

Hold on. No ****in' way. You ****in' notice this?! I got ****in' shot. I got ****in' shot in the face! I went and got the ****in' money! I got shot ****in' pickin' it up! I've been up for thirty-six ****in' hours! I'm takin' that ****in' car! That ****er's mine, ya ****in' asshole. Ya know, I've been listenin' to your ****in' bullshit all week. Are we square?! Are we square? Yeah, ya ****in' mute. And if you see your friend Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his ****in' ass!