[Buddy sees Santa in the store]

Santa.

Hey! Ho, ho, ho!

[the children cheer excitedly]

Santa! It's me, Buddy! It's me!

Hey, buddy. How you doing?

[an elf places a child on his lap]

Santa, it's me! [but his excitement and enthusiasm fades away as he grimaces at him] Who the heck are you?

What are you talking about? I'm Santa Claus.

No, you're not.

Uh... Why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?

Um... Well, Happy Birthday, of course! Ho, ho, ho! So, uh, how old are you son?

Four.

You're a big boy. What's your name?

Paul.

And, uh, what can I get you for Christmas?

[quietly]

Paul, don't tell him what you want. He's a liar.

Hey! Let the kid talk.

You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?

Just cool it, zippy!

You sit on a throne of lies.

Look, I'm not kiddin'.

You're a fake.

I'm a fake?

Yes!

How'd you like to be dead?! Huh?

Fake?

Ha, ha! He's kidding.

[sniffs]

You stink.

[as the elf takes Paul off his lap after a picture]

I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.

You smell like beef and cheese, you don`t smell like Santa.

OK.

[Buddy accidentally rips off the beard of Gimbel's Santa, and gasps. The kids scream in horror]

HE'S AN IMPOSTER! HE'S NOT SANTA!

[they get into a fight]

He's a fake! He's a fake! I saw!

Come here! Come here!

He's a fake!

Where are you goin' now? Where are you goin' now?

[he smashes Buddy's designs; the manager starts tackling the fake Santa to protect Buddy]

He's not Santa Claus! He's not Santa!