Chris McCormack quotes from Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

You sure look like a pretty good engineerer.

And my name's not Sonny. It's Chris.

Aunt Gladys!

I can't! It'll set off the gas! (Squirts perfume into Conseula's face) Mike, you saved us!

Adieus, Consuela!

They're here! They're here!

Get back, you EIGHT-LEGGED FREAKS!

Uh, maybe I don't need a shave...

If you start feeling disorientated, then get to one of these higher chambers as soon as possible.

You know, that does look like an old piece of cactus.

I'm a man, you're a woman. Oh my God, what am I doing here?

Mayor Wade

OK OK calm down, this is a town meeting, not the WWF!

Deputy Pete

Mr Mayor, I say those who want to sell, sell!

Wade

Look, company wants either all of our properties, or none of our properties. They are paying us handsomely and they are paying us, to relocate.

Deputy Pete

...How do we know this isn't another of your get-rich schemes, like, building this mall out in the middle of nowhere?

Or that ridiculous ostrich farm!

Wade

It's good meat, it's healthy meat.

Harlan

This is all just a government cover-up, isn't it?

Wade

Harlan, what in God's name are you on about?

Harlan

Then why are they willing to pay us so much money?

Wade

We need the money to turn ourselves around. Unlike old man McCormack. God rest his soul. Now he's dead. As dead as those mines.

You know those mines are filled with methane gas!

Wade

Eh, this is a meeting for land owners only...

Well I am a land owner, Wade. (Steps into light)

Wade

Oh, Chris McCormack, I, didn't know you were back! (everyone turns amongst each other and begins to gossip)

Harlan

No way you can tell me those things are from Earth!

Fine! They're spiders from Mars, you happy?!

Harlan

...No.