Jennifer quotes from Eight Crazy Nights (2002)

Now, I'd like to make this work out. But in order to do so, you're going to have to learn... that youth basketball ain't about you and your lack of respect for others. It's about the kids and teaching them responsibility and teamwork. I've been doing my part for 35 years. Are you ready to join me, big guy? [Drops fries on tray and arranges them to spell out; "Bite Me"] Joke's on you, tough guy. I can't read.

Special delivery for Whitey duvall, sugar-free doughnuts.

Every day she does this for me. Jennifer, you're too much. My fraternal twin sister's a diabetic... And out of respect for her and her disease, I don't eat sugar products.

There's a surprise in there you'll like.

Don't tell me it's bavarian cream-filled. [Takes a bite] It is bavarian cream-filled! Hubba-bubba! These babies make my taste buds do double daffies, for gosh sakes.

Eat that nutstrap, BI-YATCH!

Benjamin!

Where are your parents, anyways?

Davey

I don't know. Hopefully, out getting me an Atari.

All right, Davey! Come on! Let's go! We'll take that.

Davey

Not today.

That kind of shitting makes me want to do the robot dance.

Davey

Nice story. You can stop now.

No, no, go on. Whitey, I'm mesmerized.

Davey

Can we just go? I'm cold.

I want to hear what happens next. It's like a fairy tale.

Unfortunately, this fairy tale doesn't have a happy ending. Davey was wondering where his parents were. Turns out they were on their way to the ball game... when a truck hit a patch of black ice and swerved into oncoming traffic. Mr. And Mrs. Stone tragically couldn't get out of the way in time. I couldn't believe something that horrible... could happen to a kid that nice. He walked right through that door and into foster home after foster home... until his 18th birthday.

Oh, my. You poor, poor boy. What in heaven's name did you do?

Davey

Let's just get off of this.

He didn't know how to handle it. What 12-year-old kid would? He basically shut down.

Davey, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say.

Davey

There's nothing to say. My parents are dead. Happy Hanukkah. Now, leave me alone.

That's the saddest story I've ever heard. [Starts sobbing then breathes a sigh of satisfaction]

Davey

Hey, I'm out of here. I don't need this symphony crap.

Maybe it's time you stop running from your emotions.

Davey

I'm not. I'm running from two crybabies who won't shut up about something that isn't any of their business!

You know, I read recently in Reader's Digest that people who let themselves cry when they're hurting are often stronger than the people who try to hold all their pain inside.

Davey

Did you read anything about a deformed referee who spends 35 years trying to win some STUPID PATCH... [angrily points to Whitey] so he can pretend people actually like him?!

Which month was that in?

Take that back.

Davey

Listen, if they have an award for the freakiest looking fraternal twins... who nobody even gives a crap about, you two are definitely winning! But that patch thing ain't ever gonna happen for you... because the truth is, nobody in this town even knows you EXIST! [Jennifer and Benjamin look up in shock]

You're an animal!

Davey

And You're bald!

Not again! [She faints]

You're not welcome in my house!

Davey

Good! Your house sucks!

Do you have to be nasty to everyone who tries to help you?

Davey

That's my problem! [With Eleanor's wig landing on Mr. Chang's head]

He just a no-goodnik, and I am the real Kristi Yamaguchi.