I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!
Mrs. Connelly
Eileen Essell · 16 quotes
Nancy Kendricks
Drew Barrymore · 16 quotes
Alex Rose
Ben Stiller · 14 quotes
Herman
Wallace Shawn · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Alex Rose & Nancy Kendricks (7), Mrs. Connelly & Nancy Kendricks (3), Mrs. Connelly & Alex Rose (2)
Duplex quotes
Page 1 of 3
Officer Dan It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.
Tara God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.
I wonder how old she is.
My guess is that she's somewhere between 95 and 105.
I'm sorry, I don't hear anything.
'Mrs. Connelly: It was very distinctive. The pipes went 'bang bang, bangety bang bang... bang, bang.
We brought you this little housewarming gift. [Gives Mrs. Connelly a bottle of wine]
Oh, that's very kind of you, thank you. I'll open it for you. I don't drink myself, it's a sin.
Sit down, dears, sit down! I brought ya a little something to nibble on as well.
Oh, Bugles. Wow, I didn't realize they even still made Bugles.
[Offering Alex a Bugle dipped in French onion dip]
Come along, dear, it's French onion.
[Alex nibbles it while looking at the box of Bugles. The expiary date reads 'October 1997']
Magnificent parrot.
It's not a parrot, dear. He's a macaw. He's named after my late husband, Richard. I've had Little Dick for forty years.
Alex is a writer.
Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job. I suppose I'm forgettin' about Joyce.
Joyce, James Joyce, of course. Wonderful writer.
He died drunk and penniless.
Well, Alex's first novel was published in hardback, and he's just about to finish his second one.
Oh, what's it about?
Well, I like to call it an urban epic. It's about three generations of this family in New York that own a printing press, and I tell a story mainly about...
[Bored, cutting him off]
Oh, that's nice. Let me give you a refill. Big Dick had the taste, too. He was a seaman. The drink took him from me in 1963. We'd been married for 58 years.
[Nancy counts silently]
And what do you do, Chick?
Chick I'm a pornographer. Let me give you my card, you know, just in case.
Nancy, did you finish the Celebrity Scene page?
Oh, tickety boo.
I don't know what that means.
It means you'll have it soon.
Well if you mean I'll have it soon, then why don't you say 'I'll have it soon'? I mean, 'tickety boo' is just confusing, for everybody!
You were choking on a chocolate.
[Connelly looks at Alex, who has lipstick on his lips from when he was reviving her]
You choked on a chocolate.
Awww!
Officer Dan [Cut to the police station]
Go on, Mrs. Connelly.
The last thing I remember, I ate one of their chocolates. When I woke up, he was havin' his way, and she was holdin' me down!
No, no, I was trying to save her life!
He stole my drawers once. For sniffin'!
That's ridiculous! She was choking on a chocolate so I gave--
Officer Dan DO... shut up.
I always thought it was strange, your husband staying home while you were out there, providin'.
Well, he's a writer.
[laughs]
Writer? The man naps more than a newborn pup. What's he writing about, sheep?
Is there something, Mrs. Connelly?
Oh, I guess ya could say there was something! I've got 'something' on display in my kitchen.
That is the leavings of a mouse.
It's a raisin!
[Nancy puts the raisin in her mouth. Her expression turns to disgust as she hacks up the raisin]
I spayed it with Lysol.
Besides, do you realize how much the duplex is going to be worth once we get both floors?
I know how much it costs.
Well it's going to be worth like a bazillion times that.
Really? A bazillion? That's an incredible return.
Come on, come on. We don't have much time.
I know, she's running errands. That only gives us twelve hours.
Poor Mr. Peabody!
He took one for the team.
Were you napping?
No! I was... I was just rearranging my book collection.
In the dark?
And then I just shut my eyes, for a second...
Look! I got a peacock!
What does it do?
It's there to be decorative and look pretty and be aesthetically pleasing.