Most-quoted character in Drop Dead Fred (1991): in 14 of its 17 quotes
Most scenes with: Drop Dead Fred (4), Charles (3)
Did they live happily ever after?
Of course, Elizabeth.
How do you know?
Because, she was a good little girl. If she had been naughty, the prince would have run away.
What a pile of shit.
Annabelle, is that her name? Oh god, I didn't know that. All I know is what you did with her, on our sofa.
Oh Lizzie, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. I've been smitten by Annabelle, I've been bewitched by her. I have been pounded flat on the anvil of love like a piece of veal with a salad on top.
Charles, this is really important to me.
Lizzie, lizzie, let's not go through all this goodbye, I never want to see you again, because we will wanna see each other again. I mean two years, we're not going to throw away two years, are we?
It was three years, in June.
I'm so sorry, your honour, I lost my money, my car, my husband.
All in one lunch hour?
Honey, why do you call him Drop Dead Fred?
Because that's his name, daddy, and Drop Dead Fred is going to teach me how to cook today.
I'm going to need flour and sugar and honey and vodka and a pair of your pants. We're making pants pie. Ouch!
Vodka and pants pie, huh? God knows what else?
But she's only a kid, Polly.
Daddy, how about we throw Mommy out the window? It won't hurt her. She will land right in the Gladiolies. (then she gets tickled by Nigel)
You shouldn't say things like that about your mother, or she might cut your head off.
Very funny, Elizabeth! Sometimes I think I don't love you as much as I used to.
But, Mom, Drop Dead Fred does.
No more Drop Dead Fred! Period!
Sugar?
Yeah. (Lizzie pours sugar on the mud pie)
Deleted Scene
Dad! Daddy, I have some bad news.
Lizzie, what's with all this fuss about?
Something's wrong with Drop Dead Fred.
He is my friend, but Mom took him away from me.
Don't worry, sweetheart, give me a chance. I'm sure he'll be okay. (Lizzie nods her head even in sobs, hugging her father back)
Nigel, do it.
No, I won't, I don't want anything to do it! It's not right!
Alright, I'll do it. (winding up Fred's prison while Lizzie wipes her tears away after Nigel kisses her and then goes to Polly)
It's not RIGHT!
Now what would you know about raising a child?!
Apparently nothing! (before walking out to the door to his car to work)
Polly (sternly to Elizabeth after winding up Drop Dead Fred's prison after her husband has gone off to work): Elizabeth, if you ever touch this again, I'm gonna throw it in the trash. And you know what will happen next? He will be crushed to death.
(as Polly goes upstairs to put Drop Dead Fred's prison away in a place where Lizzie is not to find it again, Lizzie looks as if she will cry, she controls herself, wiping her tears away, lets out only a sigh, gets up and goes to the kitchen to clean up the mess she and Drop Dead Fred made.)
Young Elizabeth (writing a letter to Fred with a green crayon because green is his favorite color): Dear Drop Dead Fred, you were my only friend, but she took you away from me. I know I'll see you again. someday.
If you come back, I promise, we'll run away together. See that? "Pro-mise." I found that when I was hiding in the stupid garden shed.
That's right, that's where I hid it. But you never answered it. (Fred takes the letter and folds it up delicately, putting it in his pocket.) You just disappeared... And when you did, all the... the... life... and, um... the spirit... (she starts to cry while regaining the memory) and... the...
Yeah! Fred! It all just went out of me! (She dabs her eyes with a tissue) Oh, I should have never let my mother know how much she could hurt me... Once she knew how, she knew that she could do it all the time... And she did. So I never showed her my real feelings again.
We were all a little afraid of your mother.
Not Fred, he always stood up for me.
Well that's what friends are for, even imaginary ones.
I did this self actualising course this week and basically they taught us that pain is your friend, it's your humanity, pain makes you interesting.
Janie..
Look at Elvis.
Yeah, but didn't Elvis kill himself?
Yes, but before that he was very, very interesting.
Expecting Charles. Well that's important. I'd beter go then. There's just one little problem, Charles isn't coming.
what do you mean?
I wrote the note. Hahahahaha, haven't got a husband, haven't got a husband! Got a stupid haircut!
I have some bad news for you.
More?
Well, remember your house?
Yeah.
It, it sank.
I heard you, you said Annabelle.
If I said 'Oh, Annabelle' isn't it better that I said 'Oh Annabelle' and was here with you, than to say 'Oh, Lizzie' and be somewhere else with Annabelle.
Mother (A vision of her appears at the door in front of Elizabeth and Fred, stopping them in their tracks): Just where do you think you're going?!
Fred (to Elizabeth): Just forget her. Just say the magic words.
: I'm not afraid of you.
Mother (Not buying it): You can't go in there.
Elizabeth (louder): I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!!!
Finally, The magic words!
(The imaginary Polly looks shocked as she disappears in a flash of light and fire.)
