Jonathan Harker [watching Mina's reflection in a mirror as she's dancing with Dracula, where it looks like she's dancing alone]
She's doing quite well without him, isn't she?
Played by Steven Weber 
Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995) · 35 quotes
Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995) · 35 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995): in 6 of its 35 quotes
Most scenes with: Van Helsing (3)
Scenes with Jonathan Harker
6 scenes Jonathan Harker Jonathan Harker [Entering Lucy's crypt and seeing her body]
Oh, God... she's dead now.
No, she's not!
Jonathan Harker She's alive?
She's Nosferatu!
Jonathan Harker She's Italian?
Lucy Westenra
I know you've always wanted me, and I've always wanted you. Finally we can be together.
Jonathan Harker But Lucy, I'm engaged to Mina... and you're dead.
Lucy Westenra
I'm not dead. I'm undead.
Jonathan Harker Yes, well, I'm not unengaged.
...
Jonathan Harker Please, Lucy! I'm British!
Lucy Westenra
[Lucy opens her cleavage a little]
So are these.
Jonathan Harker [having just been told to drive a stake into Lucy]
Oh, this is horrid. Is there no other way?
Well, we could cut off her head, stuff her mouth with garlic, and tear off her ears.
Jonathan Harker ...Give me the stake. No. No, I can't... you do it.
It must be done by one who loved her in life.
Jonathan Harker I only liked her!
Close enough!
[Jonathan is about to stake Lucy's heart]
One, two—WAIT! [Van Helsing slinks back behind a pillar] NOW!
Jonathan Harker [Jonathan drives a stake into Lucy's heart and is subsequently hit by many gallons of blood]
Oh... my... GOD! There's so much blood!
She just ate! Hit her again!
Jonathan Harker Oh no... I can't...
How much blood can she have left?
[Jonathan hits the stake again and is hit with even more blood than last time]
She's almost dead!
Jonathan Harker She's dead enough. Oh! This is - this is ghastly!
Yes, you're right. We should have put newspapers down!
Jonathan Harker Oh yes, my dear. The Opera is astonishing. The music is fraught with love, hate, sensuality, and unbridled passion... all the things in my life that I've managed to suppress.
[Van Helsing telling Dr. Seward and Jonathan Harker of Lucy's prognosis]
What we are dealing with here is... a VAMPIRE!
Vampire?
Jonathan Harker Vampire? What are you saying?
I'm saying, vampire!
But professor, modern sciences don't admit to such a fanciful creature!
Modern sciences pish posh! She has lost a great deal of blood, ja?
Jonathan Harker Ja...
Well look! [walks to Lucy's bedside] where did all the blood go? Look at the sheets, the pillowcase, her nightgown! Do you see anything? How does your modern science explain zhat? Can you explain zhat? Can you explain zhat?
I can't explain zhat.
Jonathan Harker I can't explain zhat.
NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN ZHAT!
