Most-quoted character in Dirty Grandpa (2016): in 12 of its 15 quotes
Most scenes with: Lenore (5), Jason Kelly (4)
A line from Dick Kelly
Party till you're pregnant!
More lines from Dick Kelly
2 quotes
Dick Kelly Jason, I want to ****. For the first time in 40 years, I'm single, and I want to ****. I want to **** until my dick falls off. I want to **** a horse, and I want to drink its blood. I was faithful to your grandmother every day for 40 years, even through the menopause, even through the cancer. She was the love of my life, I'll miss her every goddamn day, but she told me on her death bed, you get back out there again. I haven't had sex in 15 years Jason, and I want to **** **** **** **** ****.
Dick Kelly The greatest gift a grandson can give his grandfather is a hot college girl who wants to have unprotected sex with him before he dies.
Scenes with Dick Kelly
9 scenes
Being a corporate lawyer, it's got its upsides.
Dick Kelly You know what I'd rather do?
Dick Kelly I'd rather let Queen Latifah shit in my mouth from a **** hot air balloon.
Dick Kelly We have a long-standing bet - who's the better golfer. Obviously, I've got the bigger three-wood.
Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina.
[shows up in a yellow sweater and plaid slacks]
Well, how do I look?
Dick Kelly Like the keynote speaker at a butt-**** convention.
Dick Kelly Well, there's the prettiest little girl on the beach.
Dick Kelly I was actually talking to him.
B Bradley
Yup, immediately offensive. I'm going back to the hotel.
Dick Kelly Just try not to join the cast of Rent on the way back.
Dick Kelly I'm gonna get some beers. What about you, twinkle toes? You want summa dat drank? Summa dat purple draaank? Summa dat purple ass mother****in' pimp dick draaank?
B Bradley
Who... the ****... are you?
I like your pull-out couch.
Dick Kelly Yeah? Well, I got news for you. That's the only thing that's going to be pulling out tonight.
Dick Kelly You're like some sort of **** blocking terminator sent back from the future to **** block humans.
Dick Kelly The robots should've sent you instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger, you could've **** blocked John Conners' parents and he never would've been born.
Shut up Grandpa. Shut up.
For what it's worth, I still really wanna **** you.
Dick Kelly Oh, we're gonna ****.
Dick Kelly We're gonna thunder****.
You're gonna tsunami on my face.
Dick Kelly You're gonna flood like the Nile.
Yeah, I guess the drought in my pussy is finally over.
Dick Kelly The villagers will finally eat.
You're gonna die while you're eating me out. I want your last breath to be in my pussy.
C Cody
Lenore, you're such a slut!
Dick Kelly Look... I'm sorry, I don't know if I can do this. I haven't done it for a long time.
I want you to tear open my bra like it's a social security check. Tell me you've fallen and you can't get up.
Dick Kelly I've fallen and I can't get up.
Tell me how things were better under Eisenhower.
Dick Kelly Things were better under Eisenhower.
Dick Kelly [yells]
We like Ike! We like Ike! We like Ike! We like Ike!
Are you cumming or dying?
Dick Kelly I'm not sure, maybe both!
Other characters in Dirty Grandpa
