Most scenes together: Gru & Bratt (8), Gru & Lucy (7), Balthazar Bratt & Bratt (7)
Beautiful? Oh! [Dru twirls her around and catches her] [laughs] Stop it! [tugs Dru's scarf] Sweet talker.
How is my brother finding a wife like you when he is so bald? [rubs Gru's head] I'm joking!
So, brother, how are things going for you career-wise?
Agnes, what are you doing? You... you sold your unicorn?
Well, I just wanted to help since you don't have a job. I got 2 whole dollars for it!
Aww...
Wait, what? It's true? You never told me I had a brother, and you told me that Dad died of disappointment when I was born!
Yeah. That was the agreement.
"Agreement"? What are you talking about? (Mom, what really happened?)
Shortly after you and your brother were born, your father and I divorced. We each took 1 son to raise on our own and promised never to see each other again. Obviously, I got second pick.
So... what did you guys do today?
Nothing!
We're already here! Agents Grucy are closing fast!
Yes! Wait, what? What did you call us?
Grucy! Y'know, "Gru" and "Lucy" smooshed together. Try it.
I like it but not a lot... I don't like it.
Um...
What?
It's okay to tell them "no" sometimes, too. You know? Moms need to be tough.
Right. Tough. I can totally do that! Still figuring out this mom thing. [imitates a pirate captain] Getting my sea legs, matey.
My mom and dad.
Thank you for coming in such short notice. It is with great sadness that I must inform that as of today, I am retiring as head of the AVL.
Your new leader is coming directly from head office, effective immediately. She is the very gifted… [under his breath] ...The very ambitious, Miss Valerie Da Vinci. As I look out over all your faces, I am fluttered with so many memories.
Oh, boy, this is a snooze fest! Blah, blah, blah, we understand, you're old, look, you're fat, you're done.
Ooh! [grunts] Let me breathe in! [gets shoved into the ejection hole]
Whew, broke a little sweat there. [chuckles] First order of business. [clears throat] Which one of you losers is Agent Gru?!
You've ruined everything! And now it's time to die! Any last words, Gru?
You know what? I got two words for you. Dance fight! [starts dancing]
Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong! I'm gonna enjoy this! [he and Gru dance fight]
I'll get the girls and start packing and tell them the good news! ♪ Oh, getting out jobs back! Yeah! ♪ [leaves]
Yes, yes, go tell the girls. [turns to Dru, who is still scowling and sulking] Dru.
No, no way! We can't give the diamond back! [tries to yank it out of Gru's hands]
I have to!
No, you don't!
Yes, I do!
Give it!
No!
Give it!
GIVE IT! [kicks Gru in the shin]
Ow! What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with you?
You kicked me!
You-you lied to me!
Hey, I would've told you the truth, but you're too much of a wimp to handle it! That's it, I'm outta here.
You have no right to take that! We stole it together!
Together? [scoffs] You gotta be kidding me! You did nothing but screw up the whole time! I got this in spite of you!
Oh, yeah?! Well, at least I didn't get fired from my job like a total loser!
At least I had a job! What have you accomplished that was so great? I'll tell you what - NOTHING! No wonder Dad thought you were such a failure. [Dru gasps as Gru begins to leave]
WE ARE NO LONGER BROTHERS!
THAT'S FINE WITH ME! [leaves]
[Dru growls in anger, and then feels hurt and heartbreak]
Hello, mother of Margo. I am Niko. I present you with pig to confirm my engagement to your daughter.
What's going on? Go on.
Uh, remember Little Boots?
Hello, my schmoopsie-poo. [tries to kiss Margo]
Whoa! Hey!
He seems to think you're engaged. [laughs]
What? [as Niko kisses her hand] We're not engaged.
I'm telling you I saw one once. With my own EYE! "[On 'eye', he bends down toward Agnes' face]
Wait, wait, wait. You saw a for-real live UNICORN?! What did it look like? What do you think?[gasps] Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy? Was it… fluffyyyyyyy?!
It was so fluffy, I though I was going to die!
You... refuse my son's engagement pig?
What?
May you and your daughter die a slow death and be buried with onions!
All right, lady, that's it! Nobody... nobody curses my daughter! You got that? [Margo is surprised by how Lucy is defending her] Because if you mess with Margo, you mess with me and I promise you do not want to mess with me! Do you understand me?
It's okay.
Yes, yes.
Good. Now... [angrily] Get! [Niko's mother takes her son's hand and they hurry off. Lucy then turns to Margo, thinking she's still upset with her] Look, Margo, I think we just need to–
[Margo hugs her tightly. Lucy is startled at first, but hugs her too]
Guys! Shh, shh, shh, shh! I don't think you heard me right! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This does not mean that we're going back to being villains!
Awww...
Pinyoof la komiko!
Okay, alright, I get it. Look, I know it's been a little tough lately, especially with Dr. Nefario accidentally freezing himself in carbonite. [we see Dr. Nefario completely frozen while three Minions try to break him out] But our life of crime is over! Ugh. Mel! Mel, you're with me on this, right?
Ugh! Looka! [starts a slideshow] Bueno!
YEEEAAAAAHHH!
Pinyoof!
BOOOOOOOOO!
Bueno!
YEEEAAAAAHHH!
Pinyoof!
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!
Bueno!
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Pinyoof!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
MINIONS, NO LE PINYOOF! [the Minions all rouse up] Pinyoof, pinyoof, pinyoof!
Guys, listen to me! Read my lips! Leso me lipo! Pomo doro la comquit! [the Minions laugh] What? What did I say? [pulls out a Minions language book] It's not "comquit"? Ah, okay. Pomo doro la kumquat!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pulisso kumquit parado. Lury para yo.
Don't take that tone with me! We're not going back to villainy!
Uh? No pirany?
Yes! And I don't want to hear another word about it! [the Minions all blow raspberries at Gru] Look! If you guys don't stop right now, there will be consequences!
Eh? Poro es me moro!
Hey, don't say anything you're going to regret!
Ooh, no re paros! El es quita! Choperu! [he and the other Minions leave]
What, you quit? You're serious? Come on! [Bob angrily stomps on Mel's Gru hat and leaves with all the Minions... except for Dave and Jerry, who just walked into the room, unaware of what just happened] Dave, Jerry! Good news, guys! You've just been promoted! You're in charge now! Huh? Not bad!
ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA!
Oh.. GEESH!
Oh, I love this guy! Look at him! But hair would make you better. [lightly punches Gru all over as Gru tries to stop him] Look at his face! Oh, he's so mad! [does an impression of Gru's face]
