ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

[in El Macho’s lair]
Eduardo/El Macho: [appears behind Gru] You have not lost your touch, my friend.
Gru: Aha! I knew it! You are El Macho!
Eduardo/El Macho: That’s right!
Gru: [eager] Nobody believed me! Ho ho! But I knew you weren't dead!
Eduardo/El Macho: [laughing] Of course not. I merely faked my death! [chuckles] But now, it’s time for me to make a spectacular return to evil! Doctor, I think it’s time we showed Gru what we’re up to here.
Gru: Doctor Nefario?
Dr. Nefario: Nice to see you, Gru.
Gru: Whaaa? This— so this is your new job opportunity?
Dr. Nefario: Absolutely. You’re gonna like this. [presses a button, revealing a purple Kevin strapped to a chair]
Eduardo/El Macho: Sorry. I had to borrow some of your Minions, but it was for a worthy cause.
Gru: Oh! Kevin? [tries to approach Kevin, but repels with disgust] Ugh!
Eduardo/El Macho: No! He's not Kevin anymore! Now he's an indestructible, mindless, killing machine!
Evil Kevin: BLAUGH!
Eduardo/El Macho: [jumps in fear, but quickly recovers] Just watch this. [presses a button]
Evil Kevin: [a machine gun descends and sprays him with bullets] BLAUGH! [ a flamethrower descends] BLAUGH! [it sprays him with flame. An axe descends and hits him over the head, he jumps up and eats it. A bomb falls and he swallows it, exploding harmlessly inside him. A police car, siren running, falls on him. He eats it in six bites] BLAUGH!
Eduardo/El Macho: And here's the best part, I got an army of them! [some lights turn on, revealing hundreds of cages full of evil minions; Gru receives a horrified look on his face once seeing them] Soon I will unleash them on the world! And if anyone, anyone tries to stop them, YEOW! Their city gets eaten. [pause] We can do it together!
Gru: Together?
Eduardo/El Macho: Together! I have admired your work for years, amigo! Stealing the moon?! [yanking on Gru's scarf] Are you kidding?! We would be unstoppable! Men like you, men like me, we should be ruling the world! [excitedly] So, are you in?
Dr. Nefario: [holding a noisemaker] Woo-hoo!
Gru: Uh...yeah...probably...
Eduardo/El Macho: [confused] Probably?
Gru: [stepping backwards] I mean, yes! Yes. Of course, yes, I just have a lot going on right now...I just need to get some things off my plate before we start taking over the world, that’s all.
Eduardo/El Macho: ‘Scuse me?
Gru: No—forget it! One hundred percent! I am in! [pretending] I think—what is—do you hear that— I do. That’s Agnes calling me from on the surf— [steps into the elevator which closes, but immediately opens again; hastily pressing a button] Totally in! [the elevator closes]
Eduardo/El Macho: [suspicious] You know what? I am not so convinced that he is in. [presses a button, releasing Kevin]
Evil Kevin: BLAUGH!
[Back upstairs, Edith, who’s blindfolded, lightly touches the piñata with a baseball bat, finally smacking it into pieces, revealing candy on the ground]
Gru: Edith! Agnes! Come on! [Edith accidentally hits him in the head with a baseball bat] Ooof!
Edith: [takes off her blindfold] Sorry.
Gru: We need to go home now! Where’s Margo?
Agnes: But I didn’t get a turn!
[Meanwhile, a depressed Margo is sitting alone, eating a guacamole sombero]
Gru: Margo! [approaches her with Edith and Agnes] Come on, we're leav... Hey, what’s wrong?
Margo: [disappointed] I hate boys.
[It is revealed that Antonio is dancing with another girl]
Gru: [referring to boys] Yes, they stink. Look sorry, honey, we have to leave. [sends Margo away and comes back to screen, then angrily shoots his freeze ray at Antonio for leaving Margo heartbroken without saying anything]


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