Harry Block
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
A line from Harry Block
Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'll take air conditioning.
More lines from Harry Block
6 quotes Harry Block
Harry Block
The two most important things are the work you choose and sex.
Harry Block
Does the president think of **** every woman he meets? Ah, bad example.
Harry Block
The most beautiful words in the English language are not "I love you" but "It's benign".
Harry Block
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
Harry Block
Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst **** job in the world.
Scenes with Harry Block
12 scenes
Lucy
You schmuck, you bastard! I'd like to cut your ****in' head off!
Harry Block
You're upset, right?
Harry Block
The ironic thing is that the school that kicked me out is honoring me soon.
Shrink
Why did they kick you out?
Harry Block
Because I wasn't interested in college. I wanted to be a writer and that's all I cared about. Also, I tried to give the Dean's wife an enema. They didn't take kindly to that.
Doris
You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
Harry Block
Hey, in France I could run for office with that slogan, and win!
Doris
You're a self-hating Jew!
Harry Block
Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.
Burt
Do you care even about the Holocaust, or do you think it never happened?
Harry Block
Not only do I know that we lost 6 million, but the scary thing is that records are made to be broken.
Joan
[Joan finds out that Harry is cheating on her with her patient]
Tell me, Harry, just tell me something. Was she the only one, or were there others?
Harry Block
No, Amy Pollock was the only one, may God strike me dead if I am lying.
Joan
You're an atheist, Harry!
Harry Block
Wha-hey, we're alone in the universe, you're going to blame that on me, too?
Harry Block
Cookie, do you know what a black hole is?
Cookie
Sure, it's how I make my livin'!
[Harry is in Hell]
Harry's Father: Harry!
Harry Block
Dad?
Harry's Father: Get me out of here! This is terrible! You know I could never stand hot weather.
Harry Block
[to demon leading his father in chains]
What is he doing here?
Demon
He's condemned to eternal suffering.
Harry's father: Help me!
Harry Block
I don't understand. I demand to know the charges.
Demon
He behaved unconscionably toward his son. He accused the boy of committing a capital crime merely by being born.
Harry's Father: "Your wife," they told me, "is dead, but your son is thriving." Why did he fight not to be born?
Harry Block
Look, I forgive him. What's over is over. Let him go to Heaven, please!
Harry's Father: I'm a Jew. We don't believe in Heaven.
Harry Block
Where do you want to go?
Harry's Father: To a Chinese restaurant.
Harry Block
Take him to Joy Luck.
The Devil
Want me to turn up the air conditioning?
Harry Block
What? You're air-conditioned here?
The Devil
Sure! ****s up the ozone layer!
The Devil
You ever **** a blind girl?
Harry Block
No, that I never did.
The Devil
Ooh, they're so grateful.
The Devil
You know, I've had a lot of jobs in your world.
Harry Block
Really? Like what?
The Devil
For two years I ran a Hollywood studio. But you can't trust those people.
The Devil
You're not a fun guy. You're too angry at life.
Harry Block
Well, I've got a lot to be angry about!
The Devil
Who doesn't? But sooner or later you gotta back off. It's like Vegas. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down, but in the end the house always wins. Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
