Leonard Zelig quotes

View Quote [to Dr. Eudora Fletcher] Oh . . . the pancakes!

View Quote I love baseball. You know, it doesn't have to mean anything. It's just very beautiful to watch.

View Quote [to Dr. Eudora Fletcher] I have an interesting case. I'm treating two sets of Siamese twins with split personalities. I'm getting paid by eight people.

View Quote [to Dr. Eudora Fletcher] I worked with Freud in Vienna. We broke over the concept of penis envy. Freud felt that it should be limited to women.

View Quote [to Dr. Eudora Fletcher] My brother beat me. My sister beat my brother. My father beat my sister, my brother, and me. My mother beat my father, my sister, my brother, and me. The neighbors beat our family. The family down the street beat the neighbors and our family.

View Quote But I've never flown before in my life, and it shows exactly what you can do, if you're a total psychotic!

View Quote I would like to apologize to everyone. I . . . I'm awfully sorry for, for marrying all those women. It just, I don't know, it just seemed like the thing to do. My deepest apology goes to the Trochman family in Detroit. I . . . I never delivered a baby before in my life, and I . . . I just thought that ice tongs was the way to do it. And to the, to the gentleman who's appendix I took out, I... I'm, I don't know what to say, if it's any consolation I... I may still have it somewhere around the house.

View Quote [to Dr. Eudora Fletcher, under hypnotism] I'm 12 years old. I run into the synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life, but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.