Deconstructing Harry (1997) quotes

View Quote Burt: Do you care even about the Holocaust, or do you think it never happened?
Harry Block: Not only do I know that we lost 6 million, but the scary thing is that records are made to be broken.

View Quote Doris: You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
Harry Block: Hey, in France I could run for office with that slogan, and win!

View Quote Doris: You're a self-hating Jew!
Harry Block: Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.

View Quote Harry Block: Cookie, do you know what a black hole is?
Cookie: Sure, it's how I make my livin'!

View Quote Harry Block: The ironic thing is that the school that kicked me out is honoring me soon.
Shrink: Why did they kick you out?
Harry Block: Because I wasn't interested in college. I wanted to be a writer and that's all I cared about. Also, I tried to give the Dean's wife an enema. They didn't take kindly to that.

View Quote Lucy: You schmuck, you bastard! I'd like to cut your ****in' head off!
Harry Block: You're upset, right?

View Quote The Devil: Want me to turn up the air conditioning?
Harry Block: What? You're air-conditioned here?
The Devil: Sure! ****s up the ozone layer!

View Quote The Devil: You ever **** a blind girl?
Harry Block: No, that I never did.
The Devil: Ooh, they're so grateful.

View Quote The Devil: You know, I've had a lot of jobs in your world.
Harry Block: Really? Like what?
The Devil: For two years I ran a Hollywood studio. But you can't trust those people.

View Quote The Devil: You're not a fun guy. You're too angry at life.
Harry Block: Well, I've got a lot to be angry about!
The Devil: Who doesn't? But sooner or later you gotta back off. It's like Vegas. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down, but in the end the house always wins. Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.

View Quote [Harry is in Hell]
Harry's Father: Harry!
Harry Block: Dad?
Harry's Father: Get me out of here! This is terrible! You know I could never stand hot weather.
Harry Block: [to demon leading his father in chains] What is he doing here?
Demon: He's condemned to eternal suffering.
Harry's father: Help me!
Harry Block: I don't understand. I demand to know the charges.
Demon: He behaved unconscionably toward his son. He accused the boy of committing a capital crime merely by being born.
Harry's Father: "Your wife," they told me, "is dead, but your son is thriving." Why did he fight not to be born?
Harry Block: Look, I forgive him. What's over is over. Let him go to Heaven, please!
Harry's Father: I'm a Jew. We don't believe in Heaven.
Harry Block: Where do you want to go?
Harry's Father: To a Chinese restaurant.
Harry Block: Take him to Joy Luck.

View Quote [Joan finds out that Harry is cheating on her with her patient]
Joan: Tell me, Harry, just tell me something. Was she the only one, or were there others?
Harry Block: No, Amy Pollock was the only one, may God strike me dead if I am lying.
Joan: You're an atheist, Harry!
Harry Block: Wha-hey, we're alone in the universe, you're going to blame that on me, too?

View Quote All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

View Quote Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'll take air conditioning.

View Quote Does the president think of **** every woman he meets? Ah, bad example.