Scenes with Colossus
8 scenes
C Colossus
[Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead set out to apprehend Deadpool]
I've given Deadpool every chance to join us, but he'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. When will he grow up and see benefits of becoming X-Man?
Which benefits? The matching unitards? The house that blows up every few years?
C Colossus
Please. House blowing up builds character. You ate breakfast, yes? Breakfast is most important meal of day. [gives Negasonic an energy bar] Here, protein bar. Good for bones. Deadpool may try to break yours.
Okay, let's pro/con this superhero thing. Pro: they pull down a gaggle of ass, local dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals, both origin stories and larger ensemble team movies. Con: they're all lame-ass teacher's pets!
C Colossus
You know I can hear you?
Wasn't talking to you! [points at the camera] I was talking to them!
Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
Negasonic Teenage wwwWHAT THE SHIT?! That's the coolest name ever! So what, you're like, uh, his sidekick?
Let me guess. X-Men left you behind on, what, shit detail?
Pretending you're not here, Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Can we trade names?
"Look! I'm a teenage girl! I'd rather be anywhere than here! I'm all about long sullen silences, followed by mean comments, followed by more silences!" So what's it gonna be, huh? Long sullen silence, or mean comment? Go on.
[deadpan]
You got me in a box here.
C Colossus
[handcuffing Deadpool]
Let us go talk to the Professor.
McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are so confusing. [groans as Colossus drags him along] "Dead or alive, you are coming with me!"
C Colossus
You'll recover, Wade. You always do.
[on Negasonic Teenage Warhead's shaved head]
Ripley, from Alien³!
HA! Fake laugh, hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls.
You guys going for a bite? Early bird special?
Oh, like there's something wrong with eating before sundown or saving money. No, you know that bad guy that you let go? He's got my girl. You're gonna help me get her back.
C Colossus
[from inside the X-Mansion]
Wade, is that you?
Yeah, it's me, Deadpool, and I got an offer that you can't refuse! I'm gonna wait out here, okay? It's a big house. It's funny that I only ever see two of you. It's almost like... the studio couldn't afford another X-Man.
[Negasonic Teenage Warhead looks both annoyed and confused]
D Dopinder
Who brought this twinkly man?
Twinkly... but deadly. My chrome-penised friend back there has agreed to do me this solid. In exchange, I told him I would consider joining his boy-band.
C Colossus
Is not boy-band!
Finish **** her the **** up!
C Colossus
[annoyed]
Language, please!
[Deadpool notices Colossus and Negasonic still watching him and Vanessa]
Wh-what are you still doing--?! Get out of here, go make yourself useful! [to Colossus] You, go be a big brother to someone and tell Beast to stop shitting on my lawn. [to Negasonic] And you, chicken-noodle... Nothing compares to you. Sinead O'Connor, 1990, sorry.
That's all right. You're cool.
[gasps]
What in the ass?! That was not mean! I'm proud of you!
C Colossus
We will make an X-Man of you yet, Wade.
Y'know, for a second there, it felt like we were three mini-lion-robots coming together to form one super-robot!
Other characters in Deadpool
